The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I certainly did. "They" say that the two top resolutions are lose weight and quit smoking. Well, since I am very slim and do not smoke, I thought of something else. So far I am sticking to my resolution like glue.
Here it is...DON'T BE PUSHED AROUND BY ANYONE ANYMORE!!!
My A doesn't push me around, so I am not referring to him. I am such a wuss. I think of all the things I should have said or would like to have said, but in the end, I tuck tail and slink away. No more.
I live in a National Historic District, so I have to have permission practically to flush my john! The National Historic Commission wants plans , photos, and approval even if I want to hang a new chandelier or change my kitchen floor or plant a rose bush in my garden. It is nuts! I am having the bricks removed from two sides of my house, and then replacing with with the very same bricks in the very same pattern. (They need to be remortared, as the house is 90 years old.) While this work was in progress, a commissioner happened to ride by my house, or perhaps one of the neighbors called him to find out what I was doing. Whatever the case, we had a battle royal right on my front lawn after he (the commissioner) told my workmen to leave. I ordered him off my property; he refused to budge, and told me it might be 6 months before the work could continue as I must receive "permission." Now if I want to let my house fall down, no one says anything, but if I want to maintain it, I get in trouble. There's something wrong with that thinking. It all turned out all right, so I'll bore you with no more details. The masonry people are on the job. I really, for the first time in my life, think I need to contact the ACLU!!!
Today some little snit manageress tried to better me over an inane situation in the antique store where I have some of my things on consignment. She is a new manager. The first day of the month I attempted to pay my rent. She couldn't figure out how to work the debit machine. I stopped in twice more with no results from her. Today she called and insisted that I come in NOW to pay my "overdue" rent. Well, I can tell you kiddies it hit the fan. I gathered up my belongings and walked out the door after offering her a few choice words.
I am much too easy going, and it is not good for my soul. Call it no backbone, call it wussiness, call it cowardice. But it is no more. From now on I am taking up for myself and let the chips fall where they may. I do not get any kind of thrill out of being unpleasant, but I am determined to give back what I get.
Now..........What was YOUR resolution?
Diva
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Diva, great topic... time to face up to what we really want to become for ourselves.
I hope to improve my work situation. Not the things I can't control, but what I can. In a professional sense, I see my work has eroded while I have been living with my A. Now, without all of those distractions, I would like to see myself progress beyond where I was prior to my marriage. With about 2 years left on my current commitment, I resolve to spend a little extra-time, on my own, realizing my potential not only as a professional, but as a supervisor and instructor to my subordinates. Leadership is not about talking and managing, but rather doing, and doing with integrity. Letting my troops have the credit for successes, and taking the responsibility of failures. To continue in serving honorably, as the honor will serve me (as in the Golden Rule). I can be a better leader. That is my resolution. Now to do the work.
cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
Wow, you seem so strong on the board I would not have imagined you being a wuss...I am the same way with confrontation tho.I hate it.
I don't know if it's what you'd call a resolution but this year I want to get the house sold and move into my own place.It will have to be an apartment but I'd prefer a small building rather than one of those big complexes.I also want to be closer to work.I have changed departments and with the additional activity I hope to get in much better shape both mentally and physically.I am going to continue to take care of myself where my family is concerned and keep my boundaries.The guilt over making myself matter is slowly disappearing.
2006 was a very bad year for me.2007 is going to be much better.I have let go of my 'soon to be ex' AH in every way.He is free and so am I.Now we just have to separate and then the divorce.No more tears, no regrets,this is a good thing.We are actually getting along very well.But every day I see the differences more and more clearly and I cannot wait to have my own space.There is friendship but no relationship.I realize now it has been dead a very long time.The love I feel for him is like a brother or a friend.He was very hurtful in the beginning the way he pushed me away and put her in my face.But you know what..I don't think I would have gotten it any other way.I just was living in a world that didn't exist.It took something harsh and painful to wake me up.
So here's to a great year.I have hoisted my sails.Now I just have to let God provide the wind and the direction.
I was only a wuss as you say...lol...with A....like that word was....anyhow, I think it's great that you are going to stand tall and speak your mind, this has always been my way...I have a hard time taking shit....Keep your resolution it will make you smile..
Which brings me to mine...to smile more...to just plain smile....
Kiddies, there is a world of difference between the words, "strong" and "confrontational." I have never known a stronger person than myself. It's in the genes. But I have always been totally non-confrontational. Now, my resolution is not to become a raving bitch, but it is to stand up for my rights, and not lie down when someone tries to walk over me. So far I am doing pretty well, but I do feel my blood pressure rise during a confrontation. Hmmmm...maybe I was better off before. Or maybe I simply need to get used to taking a stance. Either way, I am going to give this a shot as I believe this change is long overdue.
My resoluation is to get my spending under control. Also get my life back in order but it ishard. 2006 was the worst year of my life. I lost my 2 nephews to drugs and alochol 4 mos. apart.
hmmmmmmmm the ever famous New Years resolution? This year what? Well for me" I want to become my best role model". I want to be someone I would like to "hang around with". I have always appreared to be a strong person, but with the A's in my life I too became a "wuss". I have no excuse anymore as the main A is gone (my ex husband) soooooooo thus the new year begins again, another year older and hopefully wiser.
