The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i do believe addiction is addiction is addiction. but, my ex is a crack addict/alcoholic. i have heard of very,very few crack addicts maintaining sobriety for any real length of time. seems that 3 years is average. my ex went about 3 years every time and then his relapses lasted (on average) 18 months. it doesn't matter a whole lot to me today. we are divorced and today he is sane and sober and here for the kids. i guess i was just getting into projecting into the future and when our youngest (who has just started to bond with him) is 7 what fallout will i have to deal with if he relapses on schedual. i know, i can't control or predict the future but....no but ...i just can't. i am curious if anyone has heard of crack addicts with true long term sobriety.
what i really need to focus on is the dream i had last night about my house that we lost in forecloser in june and the feelings of loss and grief that i have been completly avoiding. well, i felt those feelings when i woke up and i'm not quite sure what to do with them. i have been spinning them and looking at the good, positive things in my life so that i didn't have to deal with them. but i can't control my dreams.....step one.....
I am sorry for the loss of your home. I can't imagine how that must feel. I came close to filing bankruptcy this summer and I thought that was horrible!
My husband in a crack addict/alcoholic. He has over 4 months sobriety now. I try to stay positive and sometimes I think--"He has it", but the truth of the matter is any day,ANY DAY, he could relapse. While I try hard, very hard not to dwell on that it does come into my mind. (I was thinking about it just this week--see he is getting a pretty puffed up head b/c things are going so well and that scares me!!) I wonder if I could handle a relapse.
Isn't it so sad the lives of the children that are so affected by this disease! My step-daughter saw he real mom this past Sun. for about 45 minutes-this is the first time in about 2 and 1/2 years. She gave her a hug, but didn't really try to be around her, curl up with her like I thought she would. When we left, he mother said "Bye, I love you" and all my SD said was "Bye". I just think she felt so strange and unsure of what she should do or say. She is nine and hasn't lived with her since she was 4. I just try to remind her that mom does love her, but she is sick and isn't capable of doing what other mommies do right now. If her dad were to go back to that kind of life, I don't know what she would do--how she would handle it! It is a scary thought. So on I go with my day and thank God for each sober day he gives us and the strength to handle anything that comes my way!
I don't know how to get over the feelings about your home. I pray that you find a way to deal with them and find serenity soon over the matter.
I had a very long talk with an AA member who is 22 years sober. He told me that a very large percentage of drug addicts are also alcoholics. It seems that they start alcohol and when that no longer gets them where they want to be they turn to the hard stuff. He also said that some make it to sobriety and some don't.
My son is an alcoholic/drug addict and for the time being as far as I know he is sober, just got his drivers license back, saved his money from a very good job he landed and bought a nice car, moved into his own apartment under his name, is attending meetings and has a sponsor. As much as I want to be joyous about these events I know that the things he is doing that are right are mostly things that he has told me. I do know he has a car and that he moved this last weekend past that I don't really know anything else to be true. It has taken a long time for me to get to this point but I have to be honest with myself and try very hard not to get too elated at his progress. Time will tell whether he can get control of this diesase or not but by working my program I do know that I will be ok.
As for projecting and stressing over what the future may bring I try desperately hard to deal with today because that is the only part of yesterday, today and tomorrow that I have any control over.
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
My husband is a crack addict - it will be four years clean and sober come this March, if he makes it.
I know what you mean, it's not that hard to find an A with 30 years sober, but addicts with long term sobriety are few on the ground. Only one I can think of off the top of my head is Earl H - take a listen to his speaker tapes if you get chance - a real hoot, and some good program on top of it all.
I see such enormous strides that my husband has taken in the last four years, but honestly, he is still a sick sick man. I guess all we can do is take it one day at a time - love him and support him, but not bury your soul in him. I hope and pray he stays healthy, but I am not counting on it for my survival.
