The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am chastised that I got so bent out about things this morning. My son did show up this afternoon and stayed 5 hours, watching football and playing with his baby and having a good time. He was totally sober and the guy I know and love so much this way. I am quick to fret and worry rather than just take a breath and stay calm. I am so tired tonight and will have another day tomorrow but the little guy is so sweet and he loves all of us so much. At 16 months he already knows that when Daddy gets up to leave and carries him and hugs him, he waves bye-bye......breaks my heart to see it and breaks his Daddy's heart everyday. He says so. Yet the damage is done to his marriage and his life with his child for now. Isn't alcohol just the most wonderful thing??? If our culture would accept alcoholism as a disease rather than a character weakness, there would be research and treatment and perhaps medications or something that would stop this awful thing that destroys so many lives.
I think actually on the whole our society (the more educated parts of it, at least) have accepted and embraced that alcholism isn't a "moral failing" so much as it is a disease, and the hard work of AA and Al Anon to provide information while protecting individuals anonymoty has contributed to the most of society's understanding. I think where people are getting fed up (with some justification) is when they see children beaten beyond recognition at the hands of a father in black out; a family wearing clothes that don't fit because there isn't any money in the house to pay bills and to attend to the so called luxeries; the so called "welfare queens" that use public funds to feed their habits, or at least keep the money from the kids who need it more than their disease.
And our response? "We can only help those who want the help. After all, they do have a disease." After awhile, it's understandable why certain individuals would react harshly to such a statement.
I have been going through something similar this week.
I have my son from M-F and I look forward to the weekends for a break, but his A father asked me to have our son on Friday and we haven't seen or heard from him since (it's now Sunday). This morning I was really tired and starting to feel resentful, most of all, as you say the little ones *do* understand when their daddy isn't around. Mine is 17 months.
I keep trying to tell myself to not focus on my ex and just live from day to day.
