The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to this message board and al-anon online but have been going to real time meetings off and on for a couple of years. Right now I just need to vent as I have not been able to make my meetings because I have a 3 yr old, a 5 month old and an alcoholic husband. I can't take his inability to handle life anymore. I have been so nice and I am done. Not divorce done but fed up. I am angry and it won't go away. My 5 month old just went in to the hospital for a procedure today and I am exhausted because I had to take on the entire emotional burden while my husband decided at 2 AM that he was going to discuss our doomed financial situation.
I just need to know that I have a safe place to talk and have program close to my heart. I am so tired tonight. I feel like I have been hit by a truck but my husband is gone for the evening with beer cooler in tow and I am happy that he is gone but sad that I feel this way about him.
Welcome to MIP, and yes this is a safe place to talk Al-anon when meetings seem so hard to get to. It has been a lifeline for me.
I am so sorry you are so upset. As you know you have lots of company. My AW who I have been seperated from for 3 weeks has been drunk dialing me for 3 solid hours. I am sorry your AH is unable to help you out right now. Be sure to take extra care of yourself too. Hope your little one is ok.
In times of pressure, it seems that many A's just take a vacation.
Venting to him will do no good as I am sure you know, but you can vent here to us all you like. We understand and support you.
I hope you will stay and post more. There is also a live chat and chat based meetings here. Maybe it can fill the gaps for you on your tight schedule.
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
I can totally relate to the being exhausted. I have 3 small children and 1 adult child. When my A was at his most active the 3 small ones were just babies and the older a teenager. I had many sleepless nights and found it contributed in a major way to anger. Try to rest when ya can, i would nap when the little ones did.
And yes, I agree with rtexas, A's have a hard time when the pressure is on or there is a stressful situation. My twins were born premature and I had a 9 month old at home (the twins stayed in NICU for a month) this is also when my A went downhill badly. He did check himself into a rehab (voluntarily) in some ways this was good since I didn't have to worry about him, but then in others it was really hard since I was alone to deal with 2 babies in the hospital and 1 at home. During this time I learned that I was going to have to be the responsible one and would have to also learn how to manage my time as well as myself. I did it, and made it through. I just took things one at a time and did alot of prioritizing.
As for the late night discussions with an A ......well I started telling him that I understood it was important and needed attention (even if it were trivial) but it would have to wait till morning and that we would also be able to work through it better if we both had a good nights sleep. Then I would just head off to bed. Yeah, there were times he got angry that I wouldn't talk about it then, but he got over it, lol. Again, it was me putting things in order of priority.....pointless discussion and no sleep, or being able to care for myself and my kids by being well rested? Well rested always won out......I was putting myself first. It did take time to get into practice of doing this but I eventually did and it was well worth it.
This is a nice safe place for venting and asking questions. No one here judges you and everyone is supportive. And we all understand what you are going through since we've been there ourselves.
Keep coming back to the chatroom and also keep making posts. The program works, it has helped me find myself again
Welcome to the MIP family. Here you will find great experience, strength, hope, wisdom and a bit of humor (good for the ). I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope your son's procedure came out alright. This is a very safe place to vent. Come join us for our online meetings or just come into to chat. We are always here for you 24/7/365.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty <-- the cat
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I can completely relate to what you said about feeling relief that he is gone, but feel sad that you feel that way. My AH is military. In our early years of marriage, I enjoyed his occasional absences simply for the break. As his disease progressed, I came to enjoy them because it meant he would be drinking himself into a stupor somewhere else, and I didn't have to see it. As for the emotional burdens, my A truly did take a "vacation", from all the financial and emotional stress. I have come to understand that in part, that was because he just felt guilty being around. He went to treatment this past summer, and just last week celebrated 90 days of sobriety. While he was in treatment, I went for family week, where I had the opportunity to confront him, uninterrupted, as to how his addiction had affected me. While preparing my little speech, I discovered that I had anger that went deeper than I knew I could be angry. I just didn't know that I could be that mad. It was actually frightening.
I hope all is well with your baby and that you keep coming back.
Here you will find great experience, strength, hope, wisdom and a bit of humor (good for the 
). I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope your son's procedure came out alright. This is a very safe place to vent. Come join us for our online meetings or just come into to chat. We are always here for you 24/7/365. 