A little more than 7 yrs. ago, my oldest daughter was starting her senior of college when the bomb dropped - she was pregnant. My sister happened to be visiting from out of town at the time and it was she who my daughter notified first. My girl was scared to death to tell me and so told my sister whom I am close to. My sister had taken me into my room to sit me down and break the news while my daughter and her cousin sat in the living room (I wondered why they sat there so quiet while I got led to the bedroom). Well, anyway, the moment my sister told me about my daughter, I hit the roof. I was stunned to say the least. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend! I cried and cried and sobbed and sobbed and I am sooooo thankful my sister was there to let me cry it all out and talk to me. I had assumed that my daughter was going to graduate that year and move on to the next phase of her life. A baby was going to change all that. I had no idea what would happen now, if she'd have to come home to live, if I would have to support her and the baby for a while, etc. I was just devastated. After about 1/2 hour I emerged from my room and my sister and her own daughter left. And my daughter and I were left alone with each other and all I could do was look at her all teary. This girl sure had her script memorized because in one breath she told me that her boyfriend (who,it turns out, was someone I'd heard her talk about a few times but she just called him a friend) and she were living together, that he did not drink, do drugs, or come from a dysfunctional family and that he had a full-time job,that she was receiving pre-natal care from planned parenthood and that she was going to graduate college on time. Well, daaaaaaamn! What page was I on? And to top it all off (lucky her), just after she finished that long sentence, the doorbell rang and company walked in (saved by the bell) and my daughter took that opportunity to go throw her suitcase in the trunk of the car (she had her self all ready to hit the road fast to drive back to school!), and told me she was leaving and would call me later. Then she was gone.....I never said another word to her about how I felt about this situation. There was no point. She had it all taken care of. That spring, my first grandchild was born and I cried at the moment of her birth. All the heartache I felt at the beginning disappeared into sheer joy. What a beautiful bundle! She is a doll whom we all love to pieces and is well cared for by her parents.

   Well, last night I had another bomb dropped - my not quite 20 years old son told me that his girlfriend is pregnant!   Need I say more? He moved out of state a couple of months ago to be with her (my A and I not only never met her, we never knew he had a girlfriend out of state!) He stays with her and her family. When he told me I thought he was joking around . I told him he had to be kidding, he said he wasn't,and when I told him he barely knew her, he not only used foul language (which he has never done with me before) but he hung up on me. My  son has never lived anywhere else but with us, he has had to ask us to wire him some money 3x since he's been gone, he didn't get a job until last week, and I know he has no clue what he's gotten himself into. But he is so in love with this girl he can't see straight. He has giant stars in his eyes. I was agained stunned at this news though this time I did not cry (not yet anyway). I called him this morning to talk to him but he didn't answer so I left him a telling him that his Dad and I were not going to tell him what to do nor would we discourage him but that we loved him and wanted to talk. He has not returned 2 calls I've made. I am worried about all of it. I know he was not expecting this and must be scared. I'm worried for him in his situation and I am worried that he will not call us for a long,long time. My A seems so casual about it. He's "Oh, well. Our daughter did the same thing". Then,after listening to me, he said "you can worry if you want but I'm not going to". I was angry at the situation and angry at his attitude. Like I'm the one who has the problem. I don't know what to think and yes, I am concerned and worried. It's like this whole thing came out of nowhere and I'm wondering what,when,where and how. I suppose I'll get used to what's happening but at this moment I am a bundle of nerves and I sure don't feel like my A is any help though I'm not sure what I expected him to say. To be honest, I think my A carries a lot of guilt about all the hard times our son had coping with my A's active alcoholism and that his casual reaction is a way of making up for that. It seems like it. I just have this on my mind all the time since last night. Of course, I will love all the grandchildren I may have . Children do not ask to be born nor do they choose their parents. They are innocent little babes. I just cannot picture my son at his age being a father. We figured he'd be headed home in a few months after the stars dimmed.  Well, you know that saying : If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans.  I think heard him laughing at me....jaja