The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He got out of jail after 17 days on a 50 day sentance and started calling and emailing. I talked to him, immediately my new boundries came into play as the the roller coaster started again. He again wanted me to do things for him at my own expense and I FINALLY said nope can't help you with that I sure hope it works out for you. I am no longer going to be his doormat in person or from afar. I have alot of mixed feelings about situations such as these. I am just now learning its ok to remove myself from the any situation so I am not involved with the chaos or drama. Then if I feel in a situation I should do something more then I act but it is later after I have had time to think and gain some peace and serenity about the situation. Since I have started to appy this I have seen a bigger change in me.
Seems like his time in jail gave you time to get out of your own jail. HP with this program is cunning, powerful and baffling. Keep on keeping on...((((hugs))))
Good for you for being strong, and realizing when it is time to step back. I don't know how to even approach boundaries yet. I am so glad you can do this for yourself and feel good about it, you help others who are struggling! Thanks for your post, good luck with sticking to things!!!!
I think boundries are good for both the a and for us.. I know that sometimes I get wishy washy and it leaves him not knowing where I stand. Having boundries and sticking to them keeps us ALL from going crazy.. Good for YOU !!! You are doing the right thing for YOU and that is what counts.. :)
I can only hope that when my A gets out of rehab in a few weeks that I can be as strong as you are being right now. And be able to do it polietly and constructively. Great job!!!
Thanks all for your responses. Thanks to everyone in the program for there help and support along the way so far. I know I have a long way to go but I am LOVING the person I am becoming. Yes having the time to myself to focus on me with out alot of distractions was HUGE in my recovery. For me that time gave me inner strength. I think my HP sure did know when I needed the time the most and helped me keep the focus on me.
You go girl, you go girl, you go girl...(say this over and over and over....