The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ive been coming here for 3 yrs now,without this room i dont know how i would handle this situation.Well anyways my sister had a stroke,alot of brain damage and cant walk or move arm etc......But the warning signs were there her pressure was high she had light flashes in her eyes.I offered her many times to go to the hospital,but she would sickly say i cant i have to work,i introduced her to alanon but i never made it out to take her to a meeting(she is legally blind also).But i did the best i could even the day befor the stroke i brought her coffee in the morning and visited her,although my other sister is there now she hardly ever visited her ever.But im trying to do hour at a time with this,tonight i seen her she says crazy things but some normal too. I was greatful to see my sister talking and even making me laugh with her sillyness,she always was a funny person.I havent seen her make a joke in a few weeks since she had the stroke.Well the doctors say this and that but says they can fix the neck clot but not the brain,well i was upset but im just going hour by hour.But my other sister will ask the nurse something and adds things to it and calls me again and says they cant do anything for her ,they cannot fix a blockage that is 95%clogged,but i was driving home when she called me saying this.This is not the first time she has done this she has been upsetting me since the stroke.She panics and adds things to the problem,i told her im living hour by hour.But i dont know why but she seems to like to obsess with a disaster but she upsets me when she does this.i told her stop your driving me nuts,she mad me have many sleepless nights.I mean i feel terrible my sister had the stoke she was my other half we talked every night on the phone we are both night owls.This is upsettin for me but it makes it much much more soothing if i live hour by hour with this.This is a good test to turn it over to hp,ive been praying and doing a St Threasa novena for her. I know the only one that can help this matter is God himself,not us.But why does my other sister like to obsess with dieing and predicting the future when we dont know yet?
Just needed to vent real real bad,it was bottled up inside of me. Thank you all for listening,Dawn
You pretty well called it right. "Hard times". I use to hate them before I had the help and support of this program and today "Hard times" never last very long. One of the things that helps me is the slogans and the other is the "One day at a time" pamphlet. You can get both at most face to face meetings or at this Miracles site.
I am grateful that you reminded me that in caring for my self I must go get a check up...soooo thanks very much for checking in and venting. It might have helped us both.
I'm so sorry about your sister.I will say a prayer for her and for you.
As far as your other sister, everyone handles stress in a different way.I have a large family and every time there is a crisis or someone is sick or dieing it's unbeliveable the things that the others (all alcoholics) go thru and put everyone else thru.Thanks to Alanon I can steer clear of the drama or at least try not to react.Try not to argue with her just let her have her say, tell her you've gotta run or something and let it go.Walk away, go get a cup of coffee.You have enough with your other sister,and you have to take care of you.Let miss negative take care of herself .
My prayers go out to you and both of your sisters. What a hard time to be going through.
I know it is hard when someone makes things worse and becomes the drama person. My mom does that with everything also. Just best to keep quiet. So many times you want to just tell them to just stop it! Just mind your business and keep being their for your sister that needs help. Well, you can also be giving to your other sister, just try to stay out of her drama.
Things are bad enough now for you. I will pray for you and your family....
I am so very saorry about your sister. My youngest sister also had 3 strokes about 10 years ago. She had 2 brain surgeries and 3 rounds of chemo too. She is disabled now and on social security. She used to be a very independant woman and now is like a child in a woman's body. I pray everyday that her husband continues to love and cherish her and hold up his vow to love her through good times and bad. I don't know what we would do without him to care for her.
It is so obvious to me why some people obsess about the bad things. Because they do not have our program. Even I fall back into the obsessing about what could happen and how bad it could be. I am a ACOA. The negativity I was raised with is bred into me. I try so hard to look on the bright side and be thankful for what I have. But I too fall into that sad place. This board is what has kept me from totally losing it. I come here to find my serenity again. I seem to misplace it often. The slogans help me so much. You cannot control her. What she feels, thinks or says. You can only control yourself. Remember that this too shall pass.
