The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just curious. I remember when hubby got out of rehab and they stressed 90 meetings in 90 days. (He being the classic over achiever did 90 meetings in 90 minutes lol! still relapsed)
My local alanon group never talks about things like that. How many meetings you should attend and how often. But as we grow in our recovery, how many meetings per week do you do? Doesn't matter to me if it's online or f2f. I know some AA people who have been sober 25 years and they do a meeting everyday, 7 days a week if they can. I sometimes wonder if it's more of a social thing as well as a recovery thing. At some point I would think that you have to start filling the void with other things. When does it become social vs. recovery? Or is it a bit of both?
The same question pops into my mind for those of us in the program. How many meetings do you do in a week? I'm especially curious about those who have been in the program more than a couple of years. Why do you continue to go? Silly question I know, because I like to think I will be a lifer in this program and I believe that I can still learn and grow.
Thanks for your feedback. Have a great day!
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I think how many meetings a person goes to is a personal choice. To me it depends on where I am in my life, and how much time I have. There are times I get to only 2 a month. Otehr times when I need it, I can go 4 or 5 times a week. My literature is always close by as is this board.
I don't see myself ever becoming an expert on Alanon, so I think I will always need to go to some meetings.
I have been a member for 30 months now. I still attend two face to face meetings a week, chair a meeting here online once a week and sometimes squeeze in at least one more online a week. I also attend aa/alanon conferences 3-4 times a year...and would probably go to more if they were closer to home.
I have been divorced a year and a half. My ex was the only active A in my life. So why do I still come so much? I often wonder if I will start cutting back. And in truth I have, because there was a time I made the online meetings nearly every day.
Part of it is social. I love to be with my family of choice. Nowhere else do I get the same kinda of spiritual uplift than when I am with program people. When I miss a couple of meetings I can "feel" it. I can see it in the way I start slipping back into my old behaviors and old ways of thinking.
I also make it a point to go on days I don't really want to...because I feel like that is when I need it the most! And I ALWAYS get something I need from every meeting I go to.
I want to be there for that new person that comes for the first time. Just like all of you that were there for me the first time I came.
And here is the real kicker for me. I see those people in the program that have been coming for years and years and years. And I see how there lives have so much peace and serenity in them. Doesnt mean that havent been through all the things our lives throw at us, but it means they have done it with help. The help of this wonderful program which offers them spirituality, love and companionship...unconditionally. And I still want what they have!
How many meetings ? well I was so nuts i went to 7 a week for a couple of yrs anything to get out of the house and not have to watch the A drink himself in to oblivion. Now after many yrs I still attend 3 a week for me . as to the social thing it is a major part of recovery for myself and husband sourounding yourself with people who struggle with the same battles works for me. as long as the people are looking for solutions .
Fellowship is what keeps A's sober . very important to thier recovery. The common bond ( the struggle ) to stay sober on a daily basis .
One of my fav speaker says One meeting a week she is taking the seat of a new commer, 2 meetings a week she is on maintence 3 or more she recovers. Just her opinion but have found in my case it works . Were all different some have small children and cannot get to more than 1 a week some don't think they need m ore . but somehow maintence just dosen't work for me it sounds a littIe to much like coping to me and thier came a time in m y recovery wehre I didnt want to just cope anymore I wanted to live !!! stayed here to live my life to the fullest
So much depends on what is going on in my other activities, but my home groups meets 4 times a week, I try to make 2-4 of those meetings. Like David said, not only because I need them, but because someone was there when I walked thru the door as a newcomer, I want to make sure I can be there to try to help the newcomers that walk thru that door.
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
In any medium to large city, being able to make an AA meeting every day of the week isn't that difficult. For Alanon, it's a bit harder just because there are fewer meetings and locations. AA clubhouses/centers usually have multiple meetings 7 days a week, and often have Alanon as well but not necessarily every day.
When I first got sober, my sponsor got me into a home group on Thursdays, which I still attend every Thursday unless I'm out of town. He took me to other meetings here and there, for a while we carpooled and traveled all over the place. I filled in with clubhouse meetings.
Currently, I try to make it to 2 AA meetings and 1 Alanon meeting per week. Usually that's my AA home group, my Alanon home group, and one other AA meeting which can be almost anywhere on a whim which keeps it interesting. I also find if I'm on vacation in another town, I may actually go to MORE meetings just to check things out.
I go to meetings to keep myself in the program and above all, to remember what I am. We have a saying in AA - keep going to meetings until it's fun, then go because it's fun. For me, it was fun almost from the beginning. The fact that I can go to these meetings anywhere, anytime, for life, is a good thing. It's a privilege as well as an obligation to pass it on. I have never considered it a chore. I like the meetings and the fellowship enough to be able to honestly say, I'm grateful to be an alcoholic. Because otherwise, I would never have found this way of life.
The 90 meetings in 90 days is a good idea but by no means does it guarantee sobriety... either during, or after. Most alcholics drink every day... so going to a meeting every day makes good sense. I probably made it to 75 meetings in my first 90 days, a little less than recommended, but I probably did make it to 30 in my first 30. I actually did complete a 90-90 some time later, which was also a very good experience.
If I were coming into Alanon directly from the trenches, with no prior experience in the program from either side, I think I'd want to go to as many meetings as I could. That's not always possible, which is why it's a good idea to get a sponsor and/or phone numbers of other members to call. Any time two more more alcoholics get together with the purpose of staying sober, that can be called an AA meeting... and the same is true for Alanon.
Ah ((((((My Kari)))))))) always thinking you are m'lady
When I began Alanon, I did one meeting a week. Though my life was such a mess, I was afraid about anonymity and it took me about 4 months to even open my mouth (I know hard to believe - ha ha). I loved the meeting and knew I was going to keep going but with all of the anxiety, one was all I could handle.
Then I began to grow, things got better and better and better and better every day and I began improving. Well then another "crisis" hit my life and I found one meeting a week could not sustain me so I found a meeting mid-week and I could make it from one meeting to the next.
Then ah what a gift, I found MIP. I come here as often as I can in between my face to face meetings. My life has been "somewhat peaceful - not trouble-free" So why do I keep coming?
- in order for my recovery to continue, I need to come here. I want to continue to grow and learn every day of my life. - I need to give back what others that were here for me gave to me (if everyone left when they were cured , I can't imagine where I'd be) - Imagine if there were only newcomers? or only same ole oldtimers? how boring it would be. - Sometimes the response I give to someone else's chat or post is the very thing I needed to tell myself? Imagine that? - Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs
Those are just a few and many more.
I hope you will continue to keep coming my dear.
Love ya, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
I have come to this room for 2 years now, not everyday, but other days, more then once a day. I think the important thing when it comes to meetings is not so much how many you hit, but rather how hard you try to apply what you've heard at the one you do make. I could go to 2 meetings a day to hear myself talk and just get stuff off my chest and never learn a thing. I could go to 1 meeting a week and if i listen, really listen, i could hear something in the literature or another member's share that can change my whole life.
My actual factual alanon bday is march 4, 2000.... though i had an intermission in the middle when i stopped going to meetings and tried to do the katrina-anon form of our program. lol that's exactly why i still come to as many meetings as i can. When i found this room, i decided to do 90 in 90, being the over achiever as well, i did way more then that when you add in f2f, but never really kept track. My goal was to get a good set on recovery, replace the voices of my stinkin thinkin which was running my life at the time with voices of recovery. I wanted to make some good relationships so that when i started to do my dissappearing act, i would have people to call me on it and ask me what's up, which i'm sad to say i did, but happy to say my plan worked and they did call me on it.
I guess in that way, it is a social group, something bigger then me, not just to make friends, but to make friends that know me for who i am, and care about me enough to call me on it if somethings not sitting right ect ect. Service work was also a great way for me to make myself keep coming back.
