The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
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Just a little update, I'm doing a little better.....getting thru it the best that I can...one of the toughest aspects of this insane disease is....realizing the truth...finally looking at the addict the way they are not the way I am want him to be...realizing that the disease won...it just plain beat the addict..
Life is such a precious gift, sometimes we forget how precious it is....I am starting to remember that...I am taking such pleasure in my childs smile these days....As I know I must get thru these dark days to see the sun shine.....
Hi Andrea, was just wondering how you were. Pretty gut wrenching isn't it?
I didn't think the anxiety would ever go away. Some day you will be ok again. found myself chanting, "everything will be ok" over and over. Said the s prayer too.
When I finally surrendered to my hp, finally realized I had to let go,felt free. I really believe that no matter what, things will be ok.
Even when I get that call....again (my first Ah died primarily from aism) that he is dead or sick or whatever, things will be horrible, but I know things will be ok.
I know showers and baths helped me, water helped. If I had a hot tub, i would never get out of it.
Hope you are finding some anti stressors. for me, I watch those funniest videos, Fraisier and Everybody loves Raymond. Helps me to laugh.
I hope you find laughter, warmth and feel joy. love,debilyn
When I look at the addict I currently live with I know the disease won. He is either irritable or living in fantasy. I protect myself as best I can from his craziness but nevertheless it pervades my life. I let it take over my life at some points. Now I set limits, tremendous walls, boundaries, deep ditches and more. He is 47 there is no question his life is shortened by his choices. At the same time he chooses not to recover and continue on the same path.
His brother who has lost a spleen and god knows what else to alcholism has moved out from the mother's. Or rather I should say she slung him out when it suited her. He is about to move in above a bar. I have no doubt he will be in the bar day and night. I choose not to comment anymore. I also choose not to save him anymore.
The A brings around his best friend who was once an academic. His thinking is now so fried from alcoholism that his thought pattern is very difficult to follow. He is still drinking despite the fact his electricity is turned off, his house is up for sale and he has no where to go. I choose to say very very little which is revolutionary for this rescuer. I gave the friend an application form for the hotel I work at. I cursorily glanced at the applicaiton at work (which was a mistake I admit) his friend could not even fill out the form (he has a masters degree). I think I want to believe they have power over the disease but at times I can admit I can surrender.
I am glad you surrendered. I am glad you can see him. I am glad you are not standing on your head anymore. I am glad you are taking care of you and not waiting for him to change anymore. I think that's a very hard place to be but it is indeed a "real" place to be.
((((Andrea)))) Seeing the smile on your childs face is a most precious gift. Life is so fleeting, yet it seems like we live it like it will have no end, throw our days around like we have an endless supply. Sadly, that is not true. I am trying to learn to make the most of whatever days I have been granted.
You are doing a great job. I know it hurts, but It will be OK. Someone told me in chat the other day, that. It will be OK. It will be. It will be. Just those simple, loving words moved me to tears. But, it will be OK Andrea. We are here for you. You have always been here for me.
I totally understand all the emotional things you are experiencing and feeling. It must be part of the process to refine us and make us stronger. We are no longer hiding or in denial, but facing the real situation. But I know through the pain and tough times, God has never left us and nothing will be able to separate us from His Love! For that I'm very thankful! I continue to uphold you and your family in my prayers! Wishing you blessings....mel
Glad you're doing better. Slowly but surely we find our way through the darkness. As you have taught me so many times, life is too short not grab hold of it. If you push away the shadows the sun will come out. Keeping you and your family in my prayers as always.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
