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I heard that an alcoholic or addict stops emotionally growing up when they start using. Has anyone else heard this? IE if they start using at 12 they act like 12 year olds and never grow up from there emotionally until they are sober for a good long time?
I have heard that too and it may be true in some cases but I don't think it is a cut and dried fact, IMHO. I don't see any of that in my husband who has been sober 7 months. He began really drinking at 18 and drank until he was 50. That being said, when he was drinking he partied like an 18 yr old until it almost killed him. But, emotionally I think he is strong. Even though someone is active it doesn't mean life stops and you quit learning from different experiences.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I have heard that too, and it is true in some ways, and just an over simplification in others. If you find it helps you to understand something, then fine. If it stands in your way, ignore it.
I too have heard that saying. MY AH started really drinking very late in his life. He is a professional and never drank at work, the typical functioning alcoholic. Now that he is in recovery (4 months today ) he is dealing with his mental health issues: i.e. abuse from his mother and first wife, anxiety, etc. Emotionally, he never gives up. In more ways, he is stronger than I am emotionally. With all of his baggage, I'm not sure that I would have been able to give up the addiction or kept on fighting. I'm dumbfounded by his tenacity. So it really does depend on the person. There is no cookie-cutter science to this disease.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
In my experience this is the case. Of course everyone is individual and will mature in different ways. But the As in my life generally are emotionally immature.
I would give that a definate yes in 3 out of 4 cases (my experience only). In the 4th case, he is more mature, but used alcohol only, in the 1st 3 cases, it had to do with drugs, and there's no question in my mind that they stopped maturing as soon as they got into the drugs!
It's funny, I didn't know it was a known fact until you mentioned it. I thought it was just something I had noticed. I also noticed that they couldn't handle stress at all, and used the drugs/alcohol to 'run away' from their problems. I once told my A to stand up and be a man instead of hiding in a bottle.
) he is dealing with his mental health issues: i.e. abuse from his mother and first wife, anxiety, etc. Emotionally, he never gives up. In more ways, he is stronger than I am emotionally. With all of his baggage, I'm not sure that I would have been able to give up the addiction or kept on fighting. I'm dumbfounded by his tenacity. So it really does depend on the person. There is no cookie-cutter science to this disease.