The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I've found myself falling deep deep into a self pity chasm and I can't seem to crawl out of it.
Withing the past few years I've lost my mother, my bro in law, my sister to suicide, my son to prison, other son to mental illness, and now my daughter wants nothing to do with me since her hsuband died.
I have tried and tried to work my program and most days I can...but today is one day i haven't been able to. I just want to go to sleep all afternoon and not think. I'm so tired of hurting.
Sometimes when I feel like that lately I resign myself that my emotional exhaustion is being fueled by my physical exhaustion. Don't feel guilty about acturally getting some rest. Maybe that is what your program should be today?
My wish for you is peace and rest for the weary. You deserve it after all you've been through. Tomorrow is a new day and a new begining on whatever you make it.
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
You have had a lot happen to you and sometimes when our body is exhausted it is telling us to get some sleep and actually REST. There is no reason to feel bad about it unless it lingers. That is when you dig out that ODAT book or the Courage to Change and look up self pity in the index. On Page 91 of the Al-Anon big book "How Al-Anon Works" is a discussion on the HALT disease and why we should guard against getting too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Avoiding these four things will help us tremendously in our recovery.
One night at a F2F meeting I had been going on and on about my miserable life and the lady that chairs our meetings came to me after the meeting, opened up her ODAT and pointed to "self pity". She said that is your assignment for at least the next week. So I went and got some of those florescent page markers and marked every one and read them every day. Occasionally I loan out my homework markers or someone will ask to borrow one so they can study on that during the week. It is always done with a chuckle included.
I have found that pretty much all of our emotions are covered in these two daily readers. If we just make use of what we have on hand it is always a good thing.
(((((HUGS))))
__________________
Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
irish54, I came on-line this morning wanting to post my emotional fatigue and depression...just to have someplace to get rid of my thoughts since I have no one to really talk to. When I read your post, I felt ashamed of myself for being in the depths when I haven't begun to experience the things that have happened to you in this short period of time. I agree fully with the others who said "go ahead and rest yourself physically". When you are that tired and your body says to sleep, by all means do it if you can. I hope that your tomorrow will be better. I will use your post today as a guideline to say: stop already with the moping about your minor aches and pains and your emotional stuff related to family....all of this is manageable for me without falling off the edge of the earth. Take good care of yourself. Please let us know how you are feeling.
If you're physically exhausted then let your body rest. I had no idea the physical tole my husband's last round of drinking did on me, until I kicked him out of the house. I knew the emotional tole it took that's why I made him leave. When he packed and left I couldn't figure why I was so wiped out physically. I took a few days off from work and let my body heal. It didn't seem to be working. So I called the doctor. I now feel much better.
I can't imagine the overwhelming feelings you must have. Give yourself some time to rest. If your not seeing any improvement, contact your doctor. Taking the time to take care of ourselves physically is just as important as it is to take care of us emotionally. They go hand in hand. But like Mobirdie said guard against this if it continues for a long period of time.
Love and blessings to you.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
