"She was available to me, a phone call away. Those times that I just wanted to cry out. She actually would listen. Somehow she knew the things to say to get me calmed down, and refocused on me. She helped me look out side the box my thinking had trapped me in. God Bless this woman, who has now moved away. She is still always a phone call or email away."

"I got a sponsor too. Although I didn't think I needed one. I thought I would give it my best shot and I was lucky, I found the right one, who had the time to lend to me. Looking back it was the best thing that ever happened. She lead me gently,through the steps."

It seems to me that a sponsor should be and do exactly as yours was and did. You are lucky to still have her. Have you written to her telling her all the wonderful things you have shared with us about her? That'd be a great idea.

Diva

((((Greta)))))

Thanks for starting this thread.  I believe that sponsorship is one of the keys to this program. And like many things in life it takes risk, but the rewards are great.

I got my first sponsor a few months after being in this program.  I was attracted to her knowledge of the program and knew she could help me -- and she did.  One of the first things she gave me was the AA Big Book.  Though at the time I read it with the mindset of helping my A, she gave it to me to work on myself.  That took a while.  She was always there to direct me in the program, giving me tapes, wallet cards of wisdom , and above all homework on the steps.  When she took me on as a sponsee there was no slowly working me in the program, she had me jump in w/ both feet.  I traveled w/ her a road of emense emotions, I felt ways I didn't understand.  She explained to me the "curse of awareness" -- how it was a good place to be, that I couldn't change my behavior if I wasn't aware of it.  And I didn't like what I had become, I hated the way I felt, hated looking at my part.  Having her for a sponsor was a gift, she never let me fall into believing that I was an awful person -- that I was just a person using the only defenses that I knew.  This was a turning point for me, accepting my part in things.  Learning how to let that go and become the person I once was only w/ better tools for life.

My second sponsor was quiet -- carried a peace w/ her.  She helped me to learn of the disease.  Taught me that sobriety does not remove all problems of alcoholism (her spouse has 20 yrs sobriety).  She was the one who continually led me back to the first three steps, connecting w/ my HP whom I choose to call God.  In my desire to work this program, my will was getting in the way and she could see it.  I had desire, a go go go attitude only I didn't know how to live in the moment, I wanted an outcome.  She helped me to discover what I liked, what it is like to enjoy something.  She is the one who asked me "what do you like to do." and I honestly couldn't answer, there became my path of discovering how to live and take joy from the moment. 

My current sponsor, lol, is mean.  No, she is just straight forward.  I have tried her patience to the point I know it would have been easier for her to give up on me, but she didn't.  She was the one who could see and didn't mind telling me -- "You can't work this program to get him sober."  I had yrs in and bottom line, that is what I was doing.  If I changed myself, became a model of good behavior I would get the outcome I wanted (again my will getting in the way).  I'm sure others could see this, it was my sponsor that popped my balloon though.   She was the one who led me to the place I could become the "real me" as I like to call it.  The other me was trying to become something that would be pleasing to others.  She is the one who got the calls of complete fear, scared I was some how some way going to screw up our relationship.  I was just scared of saying doing something wrong, I was so use to trying to be pleasing that I was petrified I was going ruin this wonderful relationship I had with her.  She was so patient, she never made me feel foolish.  Her understanding was great, even when she couldn't fully understand. 

My current sponsor always goes back to the steps and traditions.  I often hear her say "What do the steps/traditions tell us."  She applies this program and has taught me to apply it.  She continually reminds me of the importance of staying in touch w/ my HP/God.  I've learned that being right at the cost of hurting my children isn't worth it and became able to use the response "you could be right."  Because it is no use arguing w/ an alcoholic and definately not worth the aftermath.   I learned how to make amends, learned how they are for me not them and that guilt is like lugging around a stone.  One that I don't have to if I can become humble enough to do the right thing, the thing that is best for me.

I could go on and on.  I love my sponsor -- all of them.  The each brought me to a place and I believe my HP put them in my path.  I am blessed.  This program is about us, not the A's.  They may be the reason we are here but what we do here is about us.  Working it -- is just that work.  It reads easy but dealing w/ ourselves and old behaviors, wanting to justify or point the finger to deflect attention from our part is HARD.  Without a sponsor I may have learned these things, though I'm not really sure, I can't say I'd be where I am today w/out my sponsors.

I'll end this mile long post w/ this.  If you are looking for a sponsor, pray and ask for guidance.  Don't fool yourself into thinking you have the ultimate knowledge of who would be best for you.  If you ask someone and they turn you down, don't take it personal, it would be far worse for you to have someone say yes that didn't have the time it takes to help you.  If you hear no several times, try what I did say "HP/God must have someone elses in mind for me."

As far as thanking a sponsor, the best way to do that is to pass it on.  Remember where you were and where they have helped you to travel.  Then take that leap of fear (just as you did when you ask someone to be your sponsor) and sponsor somesome else.

LM