The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He called me tonight and was really upset. I talked to him a little but I was at work. He called his sponsor and talked to him. When I got caught up I called him back. I didn't like the way he was talking and the things he was saying. Then he said he was thinking about going to rehab, but he said he didn't tell Ray(his sponsor). I told him I had to go but I would call him back. I called Ray and told him he needed to call Mark. He said I just talked to him I said I know. then I told him all the things he said. Hcalled him back and talked some sense into him. Mark Called me a litle later and said Ray was on his way to get him. I told him I was proud of him and I was glad he was going to help himself. They came by to see me before they left so I could tell Mark bye.
I have so many feelings going on right now!!!!! Im happy, scared, confussed and a lot of other things. I feel he is doing the rihgt thing!!!! I know he is going to go thru a lot of pain the next few days. I can't go see him for about 10 days and he will be there around 21 days. He is going to sign a relses so I can call and check on him. I plan on calling tomorrow!!!!
It is very hard going through a loved ones rehab schedule, but PLEASE remember, this is HIS program he has to do, and now you have your own to do. I remember my feelings being all over the place when my ex went to rehab, but I sure did not want a full disclosure. I wanted him to say what he needed to say and not worry about "would she find out". I think in many ways, that can actually make a person not work a program to the fullest. When they are ready to tell you everything, they will. But I truly believe it has to be there choice, not us making the choice for them. Hang in there. He will need support, as will you! Keep coming back!
this is fantastic news. My bf went trough rehab 4 months ago and he is doing great!!! I was aloud to see him twice a week for couple of hours. He was there for 6 weeks. It was hard time for me, but gave me hope at the same time. I would suggest dont call him the first couple of days, he going to be very confused and he will bring you down. They have to do what they have to do there. They completaly strip you down and build up again from scratch. Its great opportunity for you to have some time for yourself. He is in a good hands and has all the support he needs. This is YOUR TIME now. Stop worrying, they are professionals and wont do him any harm.
Some rehab centers offer, besides al anon meetings, support for the spouses of the individuals in rehab. They're like meetings or stuff so that you have an insight into what's going on, what the rehab center will be doing with your loved one for the 28 days or however long he's their. Some places even give you a sample scedule so that you can feel as if "Oh, okay, this is what's going on." Ask if the rehab center does this, it might help you feel in control, or give you a sense of peace, if you think that might calm your emotions.
we had support group runnig the whole 6 weeks and we could call his counsellors for update as well. We also had sessions one-to one and group therapy. All very useful. I got alot out of it.
Well I can definitely relate to standing on my head to take care of the A. Now it is time to take care of ou. After all you need a program to support you too. I did all that called the friends, made it all happen time and time again. I didn't do it once I did it a hundred times and for a while I felt better about it. After all this mean the needed me and I needed to be needed.
Then there came times when I was sick, when I needed, when I needed help and there were no phone calls for me. In fact I think the A went out of his way to be as unhelpful as he could. And he blamed me for any issues I had. He didn't stand on his head for me. There was no reciprocity.
I am a great great romantic and believe in unconditional love but there is also an adult love and I feel my adult love now includes me in it not just the A and his never ending needs, demands and insisting....
Thanks everyone!!!! I am so new to all this. Seems he is in detox, not rehab. I never knew there was a big difference. Looks like he may come home this week end or one day next week. ITs called a 4 day detox. Im sure yall know more about this then me. I have talked to him three times. I have a number and times that I can call. I just got off the phone with him. He sounds GREAT!!!! As we talked about we have to take things One Day At A Time. This is SO hard for me as I am a fast paced person. I know I have to learn to slow my thinking down and not worry about tomorrow. Just think about getting tru today. We talked about him going to AA and how important that is. He has been thru all this before. I told him don't forget this is all new to me. I keep telling him how proud I am of him and I know he will be alright. Am I doing the right thing???? I want to help him not hender him. So once again I am open to any and all suggestions and words of windsom.
