The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have heard my A talking about a ballgame taking place this weekend. I have heard conversations about a bonfire and a party. This will take place outside. They will watch or listen to the ballgame in his shop, but they will be getting drunk. They will not be bringing it into my house, that is a NO NO. My problem is, he will be coming inside when it is all over. I have made arrangements for my daughter and I to sleep over at my cousin's house. I am just worried about the consequences of me staying away from home all night.
Should I tell him that I won't be coming home? I kinda want to, but I am worried he will try to stop me.
He knows I don't want him to have the ballgame party, but says I am just trying to mess up his fun. So, I decided to step aside and do my own thing.
I just really need advice, as to weather this is the right thing to do or not. I have never done anything like this before.
I have that feeling, that is telling me I should just go and let him worry, but when he does that to me, I don't like how it feels and two wrongs don't make a right.
Any advise, esh, or just a push in the right direction would be helpful. Thanks in Advance. BlueJade
if it is a "guy" thing then why not just say that you don't want to be around while it is going on and found something else to do with daughter.
If not a guy thing then maybe just say you and daughter are going to do something that doesn't involve partying around alcohol.
Maybe if you say that it would probably be more fun for him if you were not there, it could be accepted easier by him. I don't know how your hubby is about you not being there or if he knows how much you do not want to be around that. Maybe just be up front with your feelings. You don't want him to have any reason to get in a car to look for you after he has been drinking.
Take care of you and daughter and turn it over to HP
As is often said here - examine your motives. If you would not tell him where you are going in order to 'punish' him for drinking, then it is probably the wrong thing to do. If you're not telling him because you suspect he would stop you from going if he knew, then it is taking care of yourself, and is probably OK.
We don't know him, or really know the situation, so can't give advice (try not to do that here, anyway) but if you take an honest look at yourself, and a loving but detached look at him, you probably already know what to do.
