The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Wow.... it's nice to be back!!! It's been awhile since I've been here. Sooo much has happened... I was married to an Alcoholic/Addict for 10 years and two years ago divorced him b/c of his behavior after a night out painting the town red. The police were called and I ended up in the emergency room. I just couldn't take it anymore and knew that I had to get myself and our son out of the situation. So I mustered up the courage and we left and never came back. Since then he has had several run ins with the law but luckily he has not been by to bother us. That was two years ago.... I am now in a new relationship with a great man (total opposite from my ex) , but yet I am not happy. I am still thinking of my ex.... I guess still grieving of a marriage that I once wanted so badly. Why can't I move on..... why can't I just be happy with what I have now and be grateful that I am no longer in the middle of the battle anymore. I feel stuck emotionally..... any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!!
I don't think it is abnormal at all to still be thinking about the ex. I believe it is all about what could have been. With me, many years ago, it was the man I had my first child with. It was my first young love. It was someone that made me laugh and was so much fun to be with. How much easier it would have been for him to have changed his behavior and we could have stayed together as a family. I have been remarried to my present husband now for 32 years. Ex is now dead but there has always been that bond which is the A son that we had together. I feel alot of compassion for my ex (his father was an A too) as he lived a very lonely life.
It is my experience that often times we seek the external solution for the internal problems. Until we are really addressing the thinking and the feelings that go with external problems, we are not really ready to feel at peace with our decisions. Do you have a sponsor? Are you working the steps to change your thinking and prospectives on life? One day at a time, you can change your prospectives by simply realizing there's more than one.
