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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> dont know what to do
Post Info TOPIC: dont know what to do
bev


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dont know what to do
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my husband and i have been together since 98,and since then he has been in and out of rehab six times,for drugs and alcohol{plus he is type 2 bi-polar}he was on probation for 3 years for many dui's.he started drinking and using drugs again in dec just 2 months after he got off probation,and it is getting worse.he stopped taking his meds,when he isnt drinking he is soo mean to me and my daughter and granddaughter{he doesnt hit us.....yet....but has in the past,we just moved to florida in nov from upstate ny,and bought a new home that i payed for from a lawsuit,and i dont want to have to move out of the house i want him to move and i dont know what to do..i have been trying to find al-alon in my area but no luck as of yet..i really just want him to leave..he blows though money like it is nothing...if anyone has any info please help me..i just want to be happy again and not have to walk on egg shells anymore to keep him from getting mad or angry and trying to keep peace in the house thanks..



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beachbaby


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Bev,


Glad you found us. Oh boy, do we understand what you are going thru!  We have, in varying degrees,  experienced the negative effects of a loved ones drinking and drugging. I recommend reading from any one of these alanon books: One Day at A Time, Hope for Today and Courage to Change, Paths to Recovery.   


This program helps put the focus back on us, we spend lots of time and energy on the alcoholic.  Baby steps in taking care of ourselves, working this program, and gaining inner strength may help lead you to a decision of whether to stay with your alcoholic or not. One day at a time my dear, we are here for you! 


Hugs, G


 



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abbyal


~*Service Worker*~

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Hello Bev and welcome , here is the tollfree number for info and meetings in your area.


  1-888-4alanon  good luck .


I would suggest u see a lawyer about your home situation , ree: do u have to share the home profits with hubby etc.  


I hope u find meetings soon they will change your life regardless of whether he is with you or not  your life  has been affected by alcoholism and you too need to recover.    Louise



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hersh


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(((Bev)))


So glad you found us.  This is a loving, supportive place.  We all love someone who has an addiction here.  It is a really rough life to be living.  You can find tools in Alanon that will help you begin to feel so much better.


I know what you mean about your husband blowing through money and trying to keep the peace in your home.  It is such an exhausting thing to do!!!  Please keep coming back here, connect with another person, read, read and read more posts.  That saved me in the beginning.


You are not crazy.  This disease makes you feel so sad, enraged, guilty, confused, all emotions seem to exist.  It is okay to feel them, but you need to talk to other people in the same situation. 


I have been here around four months, and have seen improvement in the way that I am coping with this problem.  It takes a little time, but you will begin to feel better.


Good luck and love in recovery, hope to see more posts from you!!!


Love, HeidiXXX



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annmarie


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welcome bev,

I have found great comfort and understanding here in these posts and I know you can too.

Remember, with the disease of Aism

You didn't cause it

You can't control it

You can't change it

But you can help yourself, and you are doing that now by being here.

Keep coming back
AM


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bev


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Posts: 64
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thank you for caring and posting,i know from going to al-alon before{havent gone to a meeting in a few years} that i am not to blame for his drinking,but i cant help thinking that i am to blame a little..right now he is blaming me and my daughter for everything..which of course it is his way to beat me down..i told him this past sat that i am going to get a lawyer,and im going to get a divorce..{also on sat i went to his siters house for the day he wasnt to happy about that but i stayed gone all day}but since sat he has been very nice..but i know this is his way to keep me from doing anything...but it is time for me to take back control of life and try not to let him control it{which he does do}he also tries to control my daughters life and she is married with a baby he tries to tell her how to raise her baby{funny thing is he has never had a child-he is only a stepfather}he does not know the first thing about babies..when the baby cries he gets upset and wants her to take the baby into thier room so he dont hear her crying.....well got to run again thanks for the post

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> dont know what to do