The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my ex ah called me last night at 3am. he knows the kids are gone all weekend. i was looking forward to a good night's sleep. but no. he's drunk and has to make sure i am here. the thing is when i was telling my friend this story she assumed he just wanted to get together for a quickie. no, i explained. maybe a regular drunk guy would be thinking that way but this drunk guy is a sick alcoholic and he was checking up on me. now we are divorced and the only thing that ticked me off was my sleep being distrubed. i know his game. that's all it is just a game and i won't play anymore. he just doesn't get it. i was trying to be a friend to him, keep the lines open for our sake as well as the kids. if he can't talk to me he just dumps the kids. he can't take the hassels. so, i make it easy on him. but this morning when i decied to think about it ( i didn't last night. i just tried to go right back to sleep--thank hp for this program) i decided that i can't be his friend. or more so he can't be mine. he doesn't get it. he has never had a friend in his life. just drug addicts that come and go. aa people that he pushes away. another new boundry for me to set. at least now i know i can for my own saftey and sanity. my mother always said that sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. guess this is one of those times. thanks for listening....love to all
lol i have it but it just comes up blocked. which i know myself. if i had it so that the caller would have to show the # with the name then i could concievably obsess about who he is with and on and on....so i guess it's him when it shows blocked. obviously he's off his meds so if i don't answer he might decide to come here and check on me. one boundry at a time. sleepy now...night all
So much for wanting to keep the lines open huh? Where I use to work (ATV) a 3am phone call might be considered abusive behavior. I don't know where you live, it doesn't matter, but maybe you might want to close the lines a bit and go see about a TRO (temporary restraining order). Just one suggestion. Reading your post and being a male myself, I was thinking that he might be checking up on what he still considers his property in spite of a decree of divorce.
Give it a thought, talk with your sponsor and others in the program, turn it over to your HP and make a better decision.
