The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I had to meet my mom at the house so she could pack clothes. She has decided that this was it. She is not going back. I can’t say I blame her ser safety is in jeopardy. That was very hard for me. It was hard to see mom running around the house I grew up in packing her clothes and gathering up things she needs and get out before dad came home, she left dad a note telling him that she is not coming back. He called me crying to tell me what the note said. I have never known my dad to cry.
HP is working because Dad told me that he is going to get help. He is getting help not to get mom back but for himself. It just seems like a shame that it had to come to this point for him to see that he needs help but I guess its all in HP’s time not ours.
Now its my duty to help dad find assisted living for him because he is not able to live on his own.
I’m just feeling very overwhelmed over all of this. I’m not thinking very clear and I hope this made sense. Thank you all for being here for me and letting me vent.
((((((Shadow))))))) I am so sorry you are going thru this pain. It must be extremely hard to watch 2 people you love do this.
The best thing you can do for your parents right now is to stay focused on yourself. Try not to get caught up in their drama so much that you get sick. Stress can kill ya, I know!
Will keep your Dad, Mom, and you in my prayers. Hope your dad gets the help he needs, but only he can decide that. It is a good thing that you are here, it will help you cope with your feelings, I know it did me, anyway.
Does your mom go to Alanon? If not, encourage her. Go with her, if you want. Leave some literature or books around if you have any. Must be so hard to see your parents going thru this.
Sorry you are going through a tough time. Try to get your Mom to go to alanon. Her talking to you will be hard on you. She's your Mom! What she needs or wants may change hourly and that is an emotional rollar coster for you. Provide your Dad with the information for help. Hopefully he will start to recover.
As Becky said, Take care of you. You need to stay healthy.
Thoughts are with you on this bumpy road. And if you hit a wall, remember you are not alone.
Hang in there. Prayers are with you and your family.
The one thing in your post that struck me.."your duty to help your dad find assisted living" the word duty hit me...is he a duty/responsiblity or a loving desire?
No answer necessary...something i guess i need to think about.
Yes frog you are right it is not a duty it is something that I will do with loving care. I guess when I posted last night I was overwhlemed and felt that everything was on my shoulders. I wouldn't help my dad if I didn't love and care about him.
My prayers are with you during this horrible time. I pray that everything works out for the best and that your mom and your dad both are happy in their lives. Life is too short to be miserable and maybe this is what needs to happen (even if just for a while, you know?)
My friend I missed your post until just now, my cpu is at the docs (well the cpu doc) as we speak so I can catch up at home soon.
You are in a tight spot with both your parents, but you are doing the best you can with what you have. (I know I keep saying that, but it is true). You are helping them out individually, what a great loving daughter you are.
When I am feeling overwhelmed I see that as a sign that I need to take care of me. When I am so busy doing for others (even when it is out of love and I have no resentments for what I am doing) I tend to neglect myslef. Please take care of you. Take some time for yourself when you can.
How is your health through all of this?
Yours in recovery,
Mandy
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
