The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's Courage To Change the topic is learning the slogan "How Important Is It"?
In the Today's Reminder it says If I encounter an upsetting situation, I will ask myself How Important Is It? before I respond.
I am such a reactionary person. If I felt pain, anger, sadness, depression, whatever the emotion of that day I felt the need to express it right then and there. I was perfect at bad timing for bringing up the stickiest of issues. I still do that at times. I am learning to ask myself How Important Is It that I... say something now, get upset about this, let this ruin my day, etc. For me living with active A'ism I constantly felt like I was in "the hot seat". Always something I did wrong. I'm still in the hotseat many times, but asking myself how important is it for me to defend myself when I know it won't do any good has saved me from a few arguments lately that could have turned into a major fight.
Just wanted to share that with everyone. Have a great day.
Progress Not Perfection,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I was thinking about this last night. I was asking myself why I always have to say something sort of negatively to my A son, thinking that it is going to change his thinking somehow. It doesn't change anything and it just makes him mad and he storms out of the house. Why do I keep doing it? Everytime I do and he leaves the conversation, I feel like I take a step backwards. However, I really don't have too much to say to him otherwise. In my mind everthing is connected to the drinking. I will pray about this and get my butt to a f2f.
One of the members in my home group always makes me laugh when we study this slogan - He says "How Important Is It & if it doesn't affect my breathing, it probably isn't that important"
Most of the things that I use to think were so important, hardly even cross my mind anymore. Learning to relax and let go is such an easier way to live. All those wasted words, emotions, and hours of trying to make my A see things my way - - oh boy, that was never going to happen - Now I know - How Important Is It - He can see it his way - I can see it mine - as long as he respects my boundaries and I respect his - Life is good - that's what matters.
Thanks for posting this,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
What a great topic. Thankyou. I have 2 cats and dogs and taking care of them seems to take up a lot of time. Of course the A always thinks whatever he is doing is most important. That is one of the key issues that bothers me (well he is an A after all that bothers me too) that the whole world revolves around him. I can do my own poor me, I need this minute stuff but i tend to be able to hold back on it more these days.
Thank you for this. I will have to reflect on it, write on it and come back to it.
- oh boy, that was never going to happen - Now I know - How Important Is It - He can see it his way - I can see it mine - as long as he respects my boundaries and I respect his - Life is good - that's what matters.