The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
for several years i have felt able to detach from my A's behavior and hurtful words. When he stopped drinking for 2 weeks, all my "walls" broke down. It was a wonderful 2 weeks. He was the wonderful, sweet, loving, kind, responsible husband I knew was in there. Then he fell of the wagon on Friday and although he has not been drinking heavily, all his "drinking behavior" has come back.
I am mad that i let my guard down and no my ability to detach seems to have fallen off the wagon along with him.
I am mad at myself because i felt i was beginning to grow in this process, and I have let him knock me back down to step one again.
For me, when I worked the steps with a sponsor (and I always encourage anyone interested in persuing recovery to also get a sponsor) I realized that detachment was a lifelong process. People will continue to battle their deamons, and that may be in the forms of their thinking *or* their drinking. The reality is that if ever I feel I am "too wise for step 1," then I may want to do a humility check. After all, I am no less than human but no less a human, and humans cannot control diseases of mind, body, spirit, or of choice.
I find I am always coming back to Step 1, and not just in matters regarding alcohol or drugs. It applies to so many things in my life: my kids, my sisters, my neighbors, you name it. It's important for me to remember I can't control or fix anyone (or anything) else.
for several years i have felt able to detach from my A's behavior and hurtful words. When he stopped drinking for 2 weeks, all my "walls" broke down. It was a wonderful 2 weeks. He was the wonderful, sweet, loving, kind, responsible husband I knew was in there. Then he fell of the wagon on Friday and although he has not been drinking heavily, all his "drinking behavior" has come back.