The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When I first entered alanon I could not find one good point about myself. This disease had beaten my inner soul to a pulp, and there nothing left but a shell of a woman. I can clearly see now that I did care about myself and by attending alanon and giving up on a war that I could not possibley win, I started to grow. I was so willing to change , change my way of thinking, my way of handling things, my way of life, as the one prior to alanon was not working. It has been years since I stepped thru those doors, and by disciplining myself in a healthy and comfortable way I slowly am growing and caring enough about myself to change my life. Appreciating who you are and truly loving oneself, and learning to say "no", and not be that people pleaser that I have always been. I have learned I dont have to appease everyone all the time, and for once put myself first and foremost. Selfish? Absolutely not , afterall if I dont take care of myself , no one else sure the heck wont! I want to become my own best role model.....................one day at a time.......................gardengal
WOW!! Great post GG. One thing's for sure. Nothing changes as long as we don't make an attempt to change it. I am proud of you and your progress. Good for you!
With best wishes for a happy future, Diva
__________________
"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Great post! Such growth. Admittedly I'm stuck in rut right now. I am trying to get to the next level of my recovery, but could use a good slap with a trout. Nothing in particular is wrong, but it's just that feeling of . Maybe it's the weather, the hormones, the who-knows-what... I should be more disciplined like you and dear Diva. Thanks for the reminder. You are an inspiration.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
You know, I looked at this post, and I thought, who the HECK would post something like this? Then I read it. I'm one of those people stuck in a rut. I'm one of those people that just can't seem to get it right, but being here and seeing everyone so full of serenity, makes me want to just jump up and down and have what you have! I know that the only way to get there is to work my program. I have been a bit slow in my program becasue of not having the funds to actually get a book, but HOPEFULLY, I will be able to pick on up on Tuesday at my f2f. *crossing fingers that I have the cash* Anyways, thank you so much for all the insperation that you all give me!!!!
I know at the befinning I used to believe my A when he told me I had a pretty high opinion of myself. The sad part is that the opposite was true. I used to try so hard to convince him that I was not vain and full of myself.
Over time I have learned that it is not only ok to love myself but necessary.
Now when he tells me I have a pretty high opinion of myself I just smile and say "damned right I do!"
It makes me feel better, and Okay I have to admitt, I get a sence of satisfaction out of the annoyed look on his face.
When I am 'stuck in a rut', it is because I am still comfortable enough to STAY there... so for myself, I do not allow myself to whine about it if I am not ready to do something DIFFERENTLY.
When my Alcoholic-Ex was emotionally abusing me, I could not get out of the 'rut' until I was good and ready to; until I looked around my home and said to myself, "I am the one allowing my own home to be this way!!"
I got him comlpetely out of my life and he is now sober. And STILL out of my life!! His life is better, and so is mine. And it didn't get any better until I realized that this was a program of ACTION.
I can still make the A the focus of my existence even with all the detachment, love, encouragement and focus I have learned here. Thank you for reminding me al-anon is about me not him.
. Maybe it's the weather, the hormones, the who-knows-what... I should be more disciplined like you and dear Diva. Thanks for the reminder. You are an inspiration. 
