The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Kids and I got home and as soon as I walked in I knew my "A" was high like meth high. Why is that odd? He wasn't even home. I just felt it. I have learned to trust certain instincts of mine, because over the years I have learned to know the difference between my sickness of projecting and my intuition. I can't explain it, but there is a difference for me. And my intuition has never been wrong.
Well he didn't come home last night and didn't call. I went to the meeting and then went to bed and read a book until I fell asleep.
OK a little side note back in Feb., when hubby was in jail quashing a warrant, he met a guy who was in jail for a DUI this guy had a really nice car that was in the impound lot and was trying to figure a way to get it out. Well hubby called me and asked me if I would pick it up, if this guy's father paid the fees (the dad lives out of state) I said yes. So I got the car out and parked it. This guy got out of jail on the 31st of May and then went up to Alaska with my hubby on June 2nd. They got back on the 26th of August. Hubby asked if the guy could crash on our couch for a week to 10 days. I said 10 days that is it and no drinking in the house or around the kids and I was never to be alone with him in the house. So if hubby wasn't there, this guy couldn't be there. (That is a normal boundary for me.)
Ok back to last night.
When I went to bed I was worried that my hubby's friend would show up because I knew hubby was not coming home.
I fell asleep and the next thing I know the phone rang. It was a police officer asking for my hubby. This guy got pulled over for a DUI and they wanted to know if a licensed driver could come get the car. I don't know why but I started to giggle because he just got out of jail for the same thing. First hubby wasn't home, second it is 2am (probably another contributing factor in the giggling), third I have 3 kids, fourth I don't have a car to get to his car. So before I say no I ask where the car is. She tells me. It is 3 blocks away from county jail, lol. I start giggling more. I tell the police officer that there is no way I can get to it. I appologize fore laughing. She says she is glad I am laughing and not mad since it is 2am.
I had a hard time going back to sleep. When I woke up I remembered that I was worried about the fact that I might have to be alone with this guy. And I started laughing all over again. I looked up and said "Lord, I didn't intend for you to help me that way" didn't want the man to have to go to jail so I could keep my boundary.
I was hurt and upset about the "A" using. But I went over to the AA board and was given some help there.
It is possible to keep serenity even if the "A" is still active.
Yours in recovery, Mandy (Dolphin123)
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Well it is great that you could laugh about it. I understand that you are hurt and upset that hub is using again but your doing great with your program. Way to go keeping your boundaries even if it ment that he had to go to jail. I'm glad that you are able to keep your serenity.
I was giggling with you..lol (3 blocks from the jail). Why didn't he just park in front and say here I am! Sheesh! Though it's really not funny that he is in jail.. the circumstances are rather ironic. He may not be needing his car for a long time.
No one ever said HP didn't have a sense of humor
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I can see many slogans and tools you have applied here. One that that comes to mind is, “Let Go and Let God” Perhaps that’s why I am not surprised by your level of calm despite all.
Your sense of humor, (wit and wisdom) and love says to me how well you are working the program.
Hp is right by your side.
Glad you posted and let this out.
Whenever you can please give yourself some much deserved tlc that you are so deserving of.
Extra ((((hugs)))) with care and wishes for you and the family,
It is wonderful that you thought it funny instead of getting mad...love it...and yes the lord does work in mysterious ways....at least you didn't have to put up with the guy...lol....
Is it possible to keep our serenity when A is still using???....God I hope so.....I think somehow we just have to find that balance......and reality of the situation we live in....we all hope and pray for sobriety and even if trying to stay sober there are slips along the way and this is just a fact of addiction........
Best Wishes for some peace of mind dear friend.....so glad you have your sense of humor in tact....
I laughed with you too it is so silly the things addicts do the faces might be different but the actions are the same..
I also am proud of you how you took care of you went to bed and not wait by the phone or look for him .and to be able to laugh at is and not let it consume you is good work
I missed your postings recently, was praying for you...always find your words an inspiration.
I think tears are sometimes very close to nervous laughter. I know for me I sometimes react like this. Just wanted to send you love at this time. I think I can sense your worry and concern still....but also too your great coping mechanisms.
I had to giggle reading your post as well. Its amazing how things seem to work out and we don't really have to do much. Do I believe serenity can survive even while the A is using. I'm not sure. There have been times when I was able to manage my life and stay peaceful, but a great deal has happened since then. I think the answer for me now is I don't want to try and live peaceful with an active A anymore. However, I would have to live as peaceful as I could until a transition presented itself. I'm sorry you are going through this. Awesome that you still went the meeting and off to sleep regardless.
ODAT,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
You are GREAT!!! I am so glad you got some sleep (at least at first until the call!) but also to laugh in the face of something that would have made someone quite made normally!
. I understand that you are hurt and upset that hub is using again but your doing great with your program. Way to go keeping your boundaries even if it ment that he had to go to jail. I'm glad that you are able to keep your serenity.