The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i was just reading the posts on anger and that is where i am today. i feel all that resentment. but i really apperciated the post from the sober alcoholic. that is why i go to open aa meetings. to remember to have compassion. everything that was said seems so right on. all the opinions i could relate to. i have been wrapped up today in telling people off in my head. i was reading posts thinking that i should send them to my mil. as if my interference would change her. but gosh it is so hard for me to be trying so hard to follow the right path and do the next right thing and have the inlaws enable the ex to completely ignore his kids for days on end. man i am filled with anger today. i don't feel very enlightened or positive today. i am having trouble remembering what to do, what my tools are. i know this is like drinking poision and hoping the other person will die. old behaviors seem so comfortable today. i just want to rail at him and hurt him. he is active or at least not behavinig like he is working a program. so he is selfish, and self centered and a milloin other things and it's all i can see today. him him him. what about me. this too shall pass but not quick enough for me. thanks for letting me get this out. love and peace to us all.
I just read both of your posts. You sre so courageous to have taken the steps you have taken. You are right when you say your inteference won't make your mil see the light. Just keep leading by example.Give it all to hp. I have a God bag and I write things down that I am giving over. It makes things more concrete for me and really helps. Hope you are getting to f2f meetings and have a sponsor. You don't have to do any of this alone hon. Focus on you and the kids. Read alanon literature and keep coming here.
I am right where you are today. Angry. But you have inspired me to take care of me, just for today. I am grabbing my son and going to the mall. I am committed to getting better so I need to get out of here today. I am stressing and projecting and making myself sick. Worried if he will drink (he went out an hour ago). Worried about eveyone else but me.
Maybe if you do something for you, you might feel a little better today, maybe.
So go into your bathtub or pool or lake or river, hop in put your head under water, then come up and think about you.
(c: you can stop yourself. Takes some work. It makes us sick to think only of them.
Go get a movie, read a good book, something that will take your mind away. Just suggestions.
go get bird feeders and fill them. Hang them where you can see them. I am sitting here and look outside my front window. I just saw a female eating away as her baby was flittering on the next perch, hurry hurry I am starrrrrrving! lol so she, right there four feet away is feeding her baby. so cool
Ya need a distraction. cheescake?? lol Leo Buscaglia, Born for love. such a wonderful book. Getting Them Sober?
I am going to get a couple of Dr. Phils, relationship books.
Anyhoo hugs, hey come here and fill pools, bring some hay in, um sit and brush a dog, go to the river and play.
I hear ya,been there.I guess anger is one of the things that comes up when we work this program.It never killed anybody but it sure can make us sick.I agree,forget the mil,you won't change her,that's stinkin thinkin.
You are powerless over this disease.I know ya probably didn't want to hear that,but it's true.You do have power over your attitude,and what you do with it.Be the best example YOU can be for your kids.Let them see a peaceful and happy mom in spite of their dad.Teach them how to live by your example.Let the A see a peaceful and happy person too.They hate it when we're happy (lol) Most of all do it for yourself.This disease does enough damage.I am still working through anger and resentment about the damage done to me in my family of origin and my marriage.But I am determined not to let it keep on damaging me.It stops here and it stops now.I have THAT power.I want to be happy and peaceful.I can do that for myself,I don't have to be blown around by every wind.
Having said that,I also think it's healthy to face these feelings.The only way out is through,denial solves nothing.Just try not to stay there too long.Don't let it get you stuck.
You did the right thing by coming here and reaching out. love and hugs d
