Looking for information - Al-Anon Family Group

waykar · Newbie

Looking for information

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome , alateen would definetly help your son alot it will help him understand this disease and the futility of trying to make anyone " see the light " I Hope since this is your father at u are attending meetings for yourself al anon will help alot. good luck Louise

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

HI Karen, to me education and knowledge is better than not knowing.

My kids were given books about everything since they were able to listen.

If I were you, I would go out myself and find books on aism. There are surely some that are geared towards teens. Even if not, at fifteen your son is becoming an adult.

I believe it is so cool he cares about gpa so much.

Just leave them in his room for him, maybe add some on something he is into also. I used to get my kids those science magazines and ones on marine biology and also bring home library books of art and painting etc.

My son is a scuba diver/ carpenter/biologist!! My daughter is very into art/crafts and taught at U of O a neat craft class. Not little stuff the metal working and jewelry making. She also paints.

So ya never know what ya might intro to them that sparks them.

I believe it might make him more likely to look at the A books to do this. Just some things for you that you might be into, sorta thing.

Also maybe he can write how he feels to his gpa. Then he gets it out with out any of the initial blow up that might come.

It is refreshing to hear of a mom that cares as much as you do.

You would be surprised how many don't. Especially about their teens.

Much love,debilyn

Dolphin123 · ~*Service Worker*~

Waykar,

I would agree that alateen would be a great idea. He can be around others his age that can help him work through his feelings.

Also one question are you in alanon yourself or acoa (adult children of alcoholics)? If not maybe you both could start the journey through the 12 steps together (in your seperate programs) and that might help.

Keep coming back.

Yours in recovery,

Dolphin123

nycbt · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.

World Service Organization Website –

WWW.al-anon.alateen.org

Alanon meetings 1-888-425-2666

Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.

Go face to face meeting & online meeting.

post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

· In this program u learn that u have choices. In Alanon we don’t give advice but only suggestions.

· Set support system. people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.

Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.

Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.

kerry5 · Senior Member

I also suggest Alateen. Counseling is a good thing and Alateen will teach him how to love his grandfather and understand what hes going through. I know how scary it must feel your child in alateen a self help group. People see it as threatening and its truly not. I am a former alateen sponser i have seen kids recover from serious abuse because of the alateen program. IT gives a chance to grow up healthy whether a loved one drinks or not. TEaches them how to keep focus on themselves. It is not something to fear the alateen group which alot of parents do. Figure thier kids might be changed somehow.

IF not dealt with now it will create bigger problems in the future for your son. Can only change for the better. There is also alot of literature you can get for your son on alcoholism. Hope it works out for you.

It is scary to think about what will be found if they seek out recovery. Recovery is hard anywhere even counceling requires some sort of inside work on yourself. What he will find is understanding of the disease of alcoholism, how much it affects everyone around the alcoholic. That its not his fault. That he can not make his grandfather stop drinking no matter how much he trys or wants it. That focusing on himself and the things he needs to do even though his grandfather is in chaos. It truly is an amazing program and much help is given to those that want the help.

Kerry

-- Edited by kerry5 at 09:51, 2006-07-18

gardengal · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree with all of the above. I think going to alateen and him being with his peers, he will get a sense of knowing he is not alone dealing with this horrific disease. There he will hear the experience strength and hope from others who are in similiar situations. he could even come with you to your meetings, if he is hesitant about alateen. The more knowledge he can attain on this disease the more understanding he will be about it.....take care.......gardengal

waykar · Newbie

Thank you so much for the insight and info. I have never gone to a meeting,I guess because i accept that things won't change until he is ready. My son did tell me this a.m that he would like to attend one. Are the alanon more family oriented, he would like me to go with him and unfortunatly I am no longer a teen. Would the alanon be an ok place to start untill he would be comfortable enough to try alateen on his own? I am not afraid of taking him. My ex(son's dad) went through AA and I learned what a good program it is. I want my son to learn as much as possible to help him deal with things and also because there is so much alcoholism in both families I feel he is high risk himself. Thank you again

Karen

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

I believe that alateen would be perfect for him and Al-Anon issues are not the same as our kids, and yu both need a place to be safe to share how u are feeling with out hurting each other . Kids who see parents in distress get really upset and visa versa

perhaps there is an alateen meeting and a alanon meeting at the same time and place for you and your son so u could go to gether but separate meetings. goodluck that tol lfree number will tell u about alateen meetings also .

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.