Examining my relationship with Alcohol - Al-Anon Family Group

beachbaby · Veteran Member

Examining my relationship with Alcohol

rtexas · ~*Service Worker*~

(((beachbaby)))

What remarkable courage to take such a hard look at yourself. There is nothing embarrassing about growth. Step 4 says we all have issues, some big some small, but I don't assume there are lots of people who have no work to do in step 4! That was a horrible sentence, but I'm sure you know what I mean. LOL

I find new things about myself that need work on a daily basis, and I feel bad that I didn't see it before. But you know what, I wasn't looking. Too scared, too busy... whatever. Now I just have to do something about it.

I don't think I am/was an A, but I have an adictive personality. I smoke and I used to drink 12-14 cokes a day (til the heart dr said quit it or die). I could easily have been though, I just got lucky I guess.

Thank you for sharing that with us, it took a lot of courage!

Take care of you!

babysteps · Senior Member

I too have been examining my relationship with alcohol. My ah and I go back and forth between who is responsible for his relapses (lol). I personally tend to "compare out," meaning I don't drink nearly as much as my ah, I don't have withdrawal, I don't have to drink every day like him, therefore I don't have a problem.

Then I read the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of AA and learned about what is called a "high bottom." A high bottom is when you realize that alcohol is negatively affecting your life and you are lucky enough not to have had any horrific consequences, yet.

I (very) recently given up alcohol even when my ah is not around, which had been my real downfall. I have to say my hp is rewarding my personal growth every minute of every day.

lin0606 · ~*Service Worker*~

I worried a lot about my relationship with alcohol, when I was in my twenties. I had gotten together with my A, and we were drinking every day, getting drunk a couple of times a week.
I realized that problems were starting to come up, around drinking - we fought all the time when we got drunk, I did a couple of inappropriate things, I was sometimes getting mini blackouts. Finally, when it was bothering me enough, I quit drinking.

It wasn't until I quit, that I realized that I was not an A. I had very little trouble quitting - didn't touch a drop for about six months, and then became a social drinker. That is, I would have a couple when it was appropriate, at a party, say, and then stop. If for some reason having a drink was not in my best interests, I just wouldn't have one. It was not until I was able to do this so easily, and my husband was NOT, that I started to wonder if he actually had a problem with alcohol. Until then, it had not occurred to me to even think about it - we ran with a heavy drinking crowd, and at that time he held his liquor well. I was the one who had been having trouble - I now see that a lot of that was because I was trying to keep up with him.

I would say, if anyone is worried about their drinking, that they try to quit. What you learn from that will point you towards the next step.

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

If in doubt , check it out. Try and find some AA meetings with out your partner. Just listen and learn . Just remember that we have so many of the same characteristics as the A in our lives , don't confuse that with being an A. I am a woman and I can identify with AA ladies sharring , I did alot of what they did felt the way they did but didn't drink. Louise Good luck either way you are a winner.

serendipity · ~*Service Worker*~

when my ah and i got together he told me i was an a. i was for sure in rough shape. he said we both had to quit drinking/drugging. so i did. and he didn't. but it has made me really think hard about wether i am an a or not. i don't drink and have no desire to drink. in fact it never is an issue for me. i think it is a personal decision and only i can say if i am an a or not. good luck and love

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Trust your intuition. I would go to more meetings get literature and educate yourself.

good for you for wondering. Takes a lot of strength to look at ourselves honestly.

keep us updated. love,debilyn

nycbt · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.

World Service Organization Website –

WWW.al-anon.alateen.org

Alanon meetings 1-888-425-2666

Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.

Go face to face meeting & online meeting.
post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

· In this program u learn that u have choices. In Alanon we don’t give advice but only suggestions.

· Set support system. people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.

Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.

Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.