The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
all of the sudden i am having a hard time keeping the focus on myself. i am starting to wonder what my soon to be ah is doing and with who. up till now, when i would wonder, i could change my thought or say a prayer to let it go. and it worked. i was not obsessing. but the past couple of days i have been behaving miserably, feeling so irratated, and letting my mind go to the "what is he doing" place and stay there. i haven't asked him about anything but i'm feeling the urge to get into it with him.i don't know why my disease is popping up. i'm going to my meetings working my program. i hate this. i hate this feeling. i know i have choices but i am feeling so weak against where my mind wants to go. any esh on how to get thru this without making things really bad for all involved?
Oh been there done that! It's part of our recovery process. Don't be so hard on yourself. That stinking thinking creeps in and BAM! gets us into a bad place. No matter how hard I chant the serenity prayer, or remember ODAT, let go and let god, nothing seems to work. Ahhhh, I just want to tear my hair out.
One thing that has worked for me is to do something else. I refocus my mind on something that takes concentration. I do a crossword puzzle, soduko, jigsaw puzzle something like that. Sometimes I clean like crazy (I should do more of that ) and put music on. Anything that will make my brain tired, too tired to think. Or sometimes just treating to yourself to something you like to do. It doesn't have to be expensive, just something you enjoy. I'll walk down to the bookstore and have a coffe and glance through all those coffeetable books that I can't afford to buy.
Just remember this too shall pass. We've all gone through it. You're much stronger than you realize.
Love and blessings to you.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I know exactly how you're feeling. What is he doing, who is he with, etc, etc, etc. It often makes me crazy too.
Last night I sat down with my A (dating/friend) and told him what I want in my life. Something normal, peaceful, honest, all the things one dreams about when thinking of a loving relationship. He can't give me those things.
I had to walk away. Today is hard. He's by best friend/companion/love and I have to walk away. So today I'm staying busy. Laundry, cleaning, getting online for a little support :) planning to go to the gym later, and then to the bookstore. Whatever it takes to just get through today. Just today. Just this hour. Just the next 15 minutes.
Stay busy. Decide to be happy. Focus on you. It will get better--for both of us!
I think feeling irritable and discontent is the backbone of my disease. I can be there in a second. I try to work on not feeling so deprived because that is one of the core triggers for my misery. These days I try to immerse myself in what's suggested, being busy, being on track and having projects/goals to work with. That is of course difficutl around an A.
I am impressed that you are so in touch with yourself. Congratulations!
Way to take responsibility for your actions. This is growth. I need to bone up to my insidious disease that creeps in to my mind. What I read is that it is none of our business what our partner does but to simple notice what they do. Also what I have read is in recovery we will make alot of mistakes and sometimes be miserable. The reason is that we are not in denial any more. Hope this helps.
Ahhhh, I just want to tear my hair out.
) and put music on. Anything that will make my brain tired, too tired to think. Or sometimes just treating to yourself to something you like to do. It doesn't have to be expensive, just something you enjoy. I'll walk down to the bookstore and have a coffe and glance through all those coffeetable books that I can't afford to buy.