The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just wanted to check in and let you know how things are going. Last weekend my husband came home drunk and I ignored him when he walked in. The next morning I made a very strained phone call to him telling him that if he wanted any papers signed in future he needed to have only his name on them and hung up. I was feeling really stressed and not knowing what to do so I went back to bed got out the al-anon book one day at a time (given to me by a dear friend) and found clarity again. I rang him back apologized for my earlier phone call said he had a disease and I needed to remember that and promptly hung up. For the rest of the week I have been in shutdown mode and not talking to him. It is my protective barrier it helps me to keep my Leo temper in check and calm down. This weekend he has gone away for a sporting event and before he left asked me would I like anything at the shops there. I politely replyed no thankyou. He then proceeded to say that a friend of ours would be coming to stay for about four or five days but he would ring me first to confirm. This person is a lovely man but a big drinker. I forgot all my al-anon tools and said I don't care what you do you can both get drunk together so that was how he left the house. No goodbyes to each other etc. Yesterday morning I was feeling vulnerable and had projected how awful the week would be before it happened and truth be known I felt I was at breaking point. I sent my husband a text message saying I was feeling stressed, nearly over the edge and didn't know how much more I could take. I didn't get a reply but as long as he read it I don't care. So have had a few ups and downs but today the focus is back on ME. I have had a lovely day changing furniture, cleaning etc and enjoying my personal space. I am a real loner and having time with no-one around is energising for me. So for today ODAT and I will hand the events to HP. I realised from reading the book that my decision for right now can be NO DECISIONS. My health comes first and as along as I can remember that things will be okay. Luv to you all Leo xx
With my hubby in Alaska, sometimes I pre-arrange a day off, take the kids to daycare, and enjoy the silence. As much as I love my family, lol them here and silence can never exist.
Sometimes when I see myself not working my program the way I would like to, I have found a positive side in that. Awareness, now I am aware that I am behaving in certain ways, and usually can end it quickly.
Keep working your program hun.
Yours in recovery,
Dolphin123
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Leo: I can definitely empathise. What the A did to me about his friends almost did me in. He practially moved them in. I had to stop being a people pleaser stat. I have to say it was one of the most painful issues in our relationship. I have huge boundaries now around his friends. I know being A's they blur, merge and don't understand boundaries. I would not entertain any of them again not that I would be nasty to them either. So my people pleasing kept the boundary blurring going. I had to stand firm on the boundary.
I spend quite a lot of time alone at home (no money) and I enjoy it most of the time. I know I am very isolated and grateful for this room. I also know I need the time alone to reflect on my program.
Oh sweet lady, I think you need another "Blame it on me Karilynn Day". Or at least a Pipers Kitty Day!
I too love my space and serenity, even when hubby is working his program. The other day was just one of those days when he was driving me crazy. Please stay out of my hair!
Good for you for putting the focus back on you. Sometimes in the chaos of this disease, we forget to take care of ourselves. You deserve it. Hang in there friend. You're a lot stronger than you think.
Love and blessings to you. Piper Kitty say if you need a place to vacation, come on over! The flooding is done.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
P.S. We are sending you chocolates!
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thanks everyone. I don't know what I would do without my friends at MIP. Kari and Pipers Kitty chocolates were so nice. How did you know I am a chocolate girl the only sweets I eat in fact. Just a quick update the text message obviously had an impact the friend is not staying here now and I thank HP for looking after me. Still no communication between us but that is all healing time for me. Luv Leo xx
Or at least a Pipers Kitty Day!