new here..alcoholics driving me crazy! - Al-Anon Family Group

andretti000 · Newbie

new here..alcoholics driving me crazy!

lin0606 · ~*Service Worker*~

How do you detach? Slowly, and in baby steps.

Most of us here are 'fixers' - we let the alcoholics lean on us, because it makes us feel good, and needed. This is not good for us, and it is not good for the A. Through our meetings and our readings, we learn to stop focusing on the A, and to focus instead on our own behaviour. If you have been surrounded all your life by A's, then it is a sure thing that you have some unhealthy behaviours, and there are some aspects of yourself that it would be good to change. Alanon helps you find what those are, and gives you courage to make the changes.

Read through the old posts here. Not every one will have something to say to you but some will be helpful, I promise. Try to get to a face to face meeting near you (there are links to websites that will help you find meetings at the top of this page.). You will not have to talk, or to do anything. It is free, and it only takes about an hour. They will have reading material there that you can buy or borrow,and they will have a lot of free stuff too. You can also order reading material from this site (Book Store), or from ebay or amazon, or in any bookstore, or from the public library. (there is something very freeing about going to the library and taking out alanon books - it is like shouting out loud "There is something wrong, but it is not my fault!")

Welcome - there is help for you here.

Dolphin123 · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Andretti,

When I first came to alanon I was told the 3 C's. I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it. This was so helpful for me because I thought I caused his drinking, I tried to control his drinking, and I tried to do anything that I thought would cure it. Letting that go was my first step into putting the focus back on me and to stop obsessing about him.

Detaching is a process, you learn it one day at a time, just as lin said.

Keep coming back.

Yours in recovery,

Dolphin123

nycbt · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.

World Service Organization Website –

WWW.al-anon.alateen.org

Alanon meetings 1-888-425-2666

Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.

Go face to face meeting & online meeting.

post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

· In this program u learn that u have choices. In Alanon we don’t give advice but only suggestions.

· Set support system. people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.

Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.

Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.