The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know if this would be Alanon related.It's my LIFE,so I guess that's what this all about,right?
I am going to call work tomorrow and quit my job.I left there in tears today and have been crying ever since.Here's what happened.I was written up for doing something that I KNOW LOTS of other people are doing.
I moved to a salaried position last September.It's very stressful,fast paced.There is a rule that the company has which I won't get into because it doesn't matter,but everyone in the department I work in breaks this rule.I have always been a person who abides by the rules,does what I'm told by my superiors, and gives 110% on my job.In fact I asked for this position because in the department I was in before we were sitting around reading magazines all day because it was so slow.Of course we had to hide that fact from the owner,but my supervisor not only allowed it,she did it herself and even swapped magazines with others.I was sooo bored I asked to be moved to this job where I knew I would be busy.Well I've been busy.During my trial period I worked every Saturday and most evenings 1/2 hr to an hour over.I still work over every night.I get no over time for this because I am salaried.
Anyway,in order to try to stay ahead I broke this rule that everyone else breaks.I was called in an written up for it.I told my boss and the CEO that there are many,maybe all,people doing what I did.( it's not stealing or anything illegal,just a rule)My boss actually said in front of the CEO that she could probably name at least 2 people who do it and she assured me they had been talked to. I said, written up?She said no.I am starting to think that my boss just doesn't like me.She has recently piled additional work on me which is what forced me into breaking the rule.
I've worked for this company 9 years.I am so burnt out.I've done everything there is to do there except management which I don't want.Just a week ago I was thinking of looking for another job because of the burnout and the stress.But you know, I'm the responsible one,don't take any risks.My AH has been fired,quit jobs,tried to start a business which failed and led us to bankruptcy.But not me, I just don't do things like that.
Since I have been coming to alanon,I have learned many things about myself.I am finding myself,becoming aware of who I really am and how I want to live.I have been in customer service type jobs,working with the public all my working life.Since I was 16 and I'm 53.I'm good at it, but burned out.I am not a morning person,never have been.But I have dragged myself out of bed before daylight for 9 years.I go into that job not even ready to talk to anyone but I make myself do it.I have to let them hear my smile on the phone you know.Well I don't want to work mornings.I don't care about having weekends off, I like a day or two off during the week when the stores are empty and the crowds aren't out everywhere you go.I am SICK of sitting at a desk all day and it is taking a toll on my health.I am tired of dealing with the public.Over the last 37 years I have noticed that customers are increasinly more rude,self centered,demanding.
It could be a financial strain.My AH is retired so he has money coming in.We won't lose the house.We just paid off all our credit cards.We refinanced the house and got alittle cash out which enabled us to catch up other bills and buy some stuff to finish the house remodel so we can sell it.We were going to separate.My ah wants to stay together now.We have alittle in the bank and I could get my 401K and live on part of that till I find something.We have a couple of CD's as well.If I'm going to do this,now is the time.
I will not be able to replace the wage I am getting right away,I know that.But I think I can live on less and I wouldn't mind even working 2 partime jobs for the flexibility and variety.So, has anyone else ever taken the plunge so to speak, as I am about to? Have I lost my mind, or have I found it?
If you have any ES & H, I'd really appreciate it. thanks d
Its a tough call that you are making. It does sound like you have given some thought to this issue. However, I do hear some inclination of a rash decision. While I understand your frustration at the idea others not being disciplined over the same infractions, it might be best to wait it out. Maybe, you were the first to be reprimanded and the others will follow. I worked in a similar scenario where I got called on the carpet for something I did that everyone else was doing. I to was ready to call it quits out of frustration. But I talked to my sponsor and she asked me to give it 30 days. I was glad that I agreed to do so. My boss was found out to not use equal discipline for all employees along with a few other issues and she was fired. The replacement was a much fairer person and equal all around.
I would caution you against making a rash decision that you may regret later. Turn it over to your HP and ask for guidance. I wish you luck.
Karen
__________________
Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
I like the idea of waiting 30 days. You can use the time to really look at how you work, and see just what it is about this job you dislike, and what you DO like. At the end of the month, you can quit, and won't have that little voice in your head saying "Oh, I stormed out when I was mad, now I regret it." You will have thought it out, and gone for what is best for you.
I have taken plunges, and although it hasn't always worked out, I have always learned something about myself. I find the thinking about it beforehand part to be scarier than the actual plunging part, myself.
One thing in your post struck me - you had been thinking of separating. Is there any chance that you are thinking of leaving your job so that there is no chance that you will go through with the separation? And, if so, what would that mean? If you have a sponsor, it might be helpful to talk this aspect of it out with her - you want to be leaping towards something good for you, not back from a scary but necessary step.
Sometimes we just have to do things, just for our own peace of mine...If you area that miserable and unhappy...do what you have to do....sometimes we just need a little peace no matter what it is from
Good for you!! Life is so short, I taught my kids to not stay at a job that makes you miserable. It is not worth it.
I agree with TT also, when one thing goes, the next is better. Sounds like it would not take much to make things better.
You sound depressed, anxious, etc. If I were you I would get to the doctor and get a medical leave. There is a thing called a family medical leave. Your employer has to hire you back after that time. It is unpaid.
Not that you would go back, but you could rest and make sure that is what you want. They do not have to offer you the same job.
Just might help you in your decision.
I like it that you are taking care of you. I remember being so overwhelmed in my late forties. I went to college full time and worked full time and was raising two teens.
I would take a class that would be killing me. I hated not to finish it but could not do the job I wanted on it. So I would cancel it. OH man the relieve was so so so nice.
I would do whatever I needed to do to find peace and contentment in my life. What I am hearing in your post is that this incident is just the last straw. Something that is just giving you that reason to move on. It sounds as though you have been contenplating this for awhile. Find a job that is right for you...one that you do not have to work mornings and at this stage of your life, one that is not stressful. I am 53 also and I feel like I am moving closer to retirement. I do not wish to spend the rest of my working years in something I do not want to be in. Fortunately, I love my job so when this is over I will be done in the working world.
Life is too short to be doing something daily that is not making us happy.
I did it.I called before the place opened and left a message for my boss saying I quit and I won't be back.I asked God before I went to sleep to guide me during my sleep.I told myself if I still felt the same in the morning I would do it.Well I set the alarm,got up and asked myself how I felt.I felt the same.I just could not drag myself in there another day.
This is not an easy thing for me to do.I am a very responsible person and I just don't do things like this.But I am just at the breaking point.I have been feeling that I am headed for another depression and I don't want to go there again.
On the 30 days, that is probably a very good idea,however I have been thinking about this for much more than 30 days already.It wasn't a rash decision, it was just the last straw.(((Gailey))) you are so right, you expressed exactly how I feel.Time to move on.
(((tt))) I think you nailed it.When I was telling my husband yesterday about my breaking that rule,he asked why I did that.He knows I am not a rule breaker better than anyone.I thought about it and realized I unconsciously sabotaged myself.I say unconsciously because I didn't think " I'll break this rule and get written up,then I can quit".But you are right, I sabotaged myself so I wouldn't feel guilty for doing something that is good for me.I was all into blaming them.It's their fault,every body does it,it was wrong to write me up.In other words, I'm justified in quitting because of what "they" did.Really it was all about what I did.I have wanted to leave this job for a long time.I was never financially able to until now.I knew I needed to get out of there,I feel the job is killing me with the stress.But how could I bring myself to do something just because it's good for ME?I have never done that.How can I explain that to my AH and A family? They will never get it.And they probably won't get it.
My AH is already "worried" about how we'll make it.I reminded him of all of his job changes we went through and survived.It was ok, because it was him.I never have had the right to do anything just for me.Well I did it.He will just have to deal with it.I am confident I will find another job better suited for me,the REAL me.I took that job when I was in a major depression,this time will be different.
(((lin)))) I also wanted to say that I am going to think about what you said about the separation.I hadn't thought of that.My AH has decided he wants to stay together now,but I was so ready to separate.The thing is we can't do it anyway until the house is sold,so I'm kinda stuck here for now.Might as well use the time and his income to make a change that is good for me.After I get on my own I probably won't be able to do something like this.But still, I think what you said is worth thinking about.
((((debilyn))) down to earth and common sense as always.I just love the way you think.You reminded me of my own words years ago in another job telling someone else who hated the job that life is too short,if you're that miserable you should quit and find something else.Time to take my own advice.It's too late for the family leave thing,I already quit.I can't see me ever wanting to go back there anyway.
All of your responses were thoughtful,supportive, and encouraging. I love you guys.I hope I can be here for all of you when you need it.Thanks again.
Loved your post. Very insightful. What about working in customer service in a field you adore? With children? With animals? Park service? Whatever is fascinating and special to you personally - something without a 'drudge' factor?
