The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I brought my 16 year old son to a carnival tonight to meet a few girls and picked up hours later. I had walked around a bit alone, didn’t let on I was mom when I passed him. I watched other families on the rides with their small children and reminisced. I admit I should be happy that he is healthy, so smart and handsome if I do say so, however I am sad. The years flew. All those times when I was married I would make sure son was not left with the A because I knew he could not tend to him properly, then once divorced I told the courts I felt that he should not have unsupervised visitations and his attorneys made it happen anyway, I spent sleepless weekends worried with fear. They have all vanished now. The A has not called or seen this child in nine months. I am sad, sad for him to not have the memories I just had while walking thru the carnival tonight and watching his son become a young man. I am sad what this disease has done.
I'm planning a vacation with my son this summer to add onto my memories as mom.
Yes it is sad that his dad is choosing to not be a part of his life, but that is something he will have to deal with. He won't know he is missing a great thing until your son is older.
But you, you know what is important!
Show your son your love.
Yours in Recovery,
Dolphin123
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
I think everyone on this board can relate to your story. It brings a lump to my throat. HP will always watch over your son and he is already truly blessed to have a Mum as caring as you are. Just imagine all the wonderful values that he has inherited from you already. ((())) Luv Leo xx
I can relate to the absence of a parent. She was around but not emotionally (she was always passed out or cussing at something). I really needed her during my teen years. I done things that I know if I had my mom there to guide me, I would've done. With my dad emotionally absent as well, I went running wild and made mistakes. My mom's drinking had drove a wedge between her and me. I had always had the fantasy of a Cinderella type wedding. All my friends and family there to see me off on my new journey through life.....
Yep, just a fantasy. Not only did my mom's disease break up a marriage and damage me in the process but my mom wasn't there to see me get married. On the one day, I really would've wanted her there, she wasn't. Just because she was off getting drunk and whatever else. She missed out big time. I didn't have anybody else to look up to so I was left to my own devices. Your son has you and you are wonderful . I'm sure he's thankful for all the little things, no matter how tiny.
I understand why you're sad, but I also see that he has a wonderful loving mom to look up to. I think you are a great person and mother. (((tea)))
You have raised a remarkable young man. You should be proud of yourself. Enjoy the extra time with your son. You never know what may happen down the road. I slowly see my hubby repairing the damage to his family. Perhaps down the road your son and his father may be able to come to some kind of terms. If not, then it was not meant to be.
I am proud and honored to call you my dear friend. Love and blessings to you, son and Scout too!
Live strong,
Karilynn, hubby and Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
We (my daughter and I)went to Dallas for the 4th. There was a concert and a parade and the fireworks. I felt so proud of myself for not weeping over the other "families". I do not think the regret ever stops. What I wanted most for my daughter was a loving mom and a dad. A family...but she is smart and pretty and well adjusted. She goes to her dad's every other weekend and I worry the whole time too. I try so hard to be both parents and feel like she is always being torn between us. I guess we have to count our blessings and be happy with that.
tea, you are a wonder! Reading your poignant post brought tears to my eyes. Not sad ones, but ones of peace and love. What a mom you are!! The world needs so many more like you. With love, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
. I'm sure he's thankful for all the little things, no matter how tiny.
