The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I loved your post...reminds me of when my A husband was in jail. I'd go to see him every week, except when I got mad at him about some lies he was telling me again, LOL. It was hard for me and humbling for him for me to see him in his orange "outfit", lol (orange scrubs). He looked pitiful, and he didn't look like the others there (they were long-haired, rough looking, who would scare you just by looking your way). My A is clean cut, very short salt and pepper hair, beautiful blue/green eyes, so nice to look at (except because of the disease and his very physical occupation is very, very thin).
Thank HP for the guy from church is the guard in the tower there at the jail, because when I had to get in touch with my husband about our business, I could count on him to get my husband to return my call.
Funny, before everything came out about my husband drinking, he used to say, when asked if he had eaten breakfast or lunch, "Honey, not everybody eats on YOUR schedule" ~ which, btw, was 3 meals a day, LOL! After being in treatment for about a week, he told me "Honey, everyone DOES eat on your schedule, after all!" LOLOL! I guess he was getting his fill of alcohol, and didn't have the hunger for food.
I had given my A the same boundary you mentioned, if you drink, you're outta here. He agreed. But now, seeing how he has been working the program and has been sober for 24 months, I really don't know if I'll keep the boundary or not. Funny how your thinking changes after time. I really think I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get there.
kathi are we married to the same guy? I swear you described my A husband!! lol
Well we know alcoholism attacks attorneys, doctors, farmers, grocery store clerks.. not just low life people.
Yes our ideas do change. I know mine cannot becuz my A is horribly abusive, physically if he is not on meds and using. He messed up my shoulder permanently.
Thank you so much for your post. I could go there every day, but really have no desire to. I gave and gave and when he relapsed I was in denial and still acted like we had the same marriage.
Too horrible to think it was not I guess.
So now I keep telling him he has a lot of work to do becuz if he wants to stay married, he has to act like it.
someone told me early in the program hang out with the winners well that is why I love your posts and read them and she what I can get strength from . dori
It was hard for me and humbling for him for me to see him in his orange "outfit", lol (orange scrubs). 
He looked pitiful, and he didn't look like the others there (they were long-haired, rough looking, who would scare you just by looking your way). My A is clean cut, very short salt and pepper hair, beautiful blue/green eyes, so nice to look at (except because of the disease and his very physical occupation is very, very thin). 
