The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was reflecting on my past lately. I felt like my past relationships, jobs & marriage that ended in divorce was just a series of failures & mistakes I have made.
But with the knowledge I have now & my HP. I am thinking different. Was my past really mistakes & failures? or Was this the path my life was destined to take?
Living with my A at this time in my life is a rocky & bumpy ride the last few years. But maybe I am where I am suppose to be for now.
Maybe there is a lesson my HP is trying to get me to learn where in the past I have cut & run away for problems.
Maybe as I have said before....."I am going thru what I have gone thru good or bad to get to where I am today."
If my path has already been planned then the only real choice I have is to be happy & accept the way life is or be miserable, unhappy & fight life every step of the way.
With this thinking, then maybe my past is not filled with mistakes , regrets & failures instead it is wisdom, experience & knowledge.
I am not as sad or lonely when I view life this way. When I have tried to make plans they seem to always never pan out the way I wanted. So if I go to with the flow, Life is easier to swallow & as not as much of a disappointment.
Maybe I have learned & am on to something here? Now if I can only figure out why I am here? what is my purpose?
"People are only as happy as they make up their minds to be" Abraham Lincoln
For me when I fight and struggle against my daily life and wonder why it isn't different, in a way I am saying that I know better than my HP. Now I am not always able to accept things as they happen the minute that they happen, but I would agree with you about your past holding wisdom, experience, and knowledge. Working my program I have been able to see how something I have gone through has given me the oppurtunity to offer someone ESH on that.
Looking at everything in a positive light helps me so much.
Yours in Recovery,
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Reflection is difficult but helps us grow. I sit here late at night trying to get into my panic attack and pity party. You reminded me that my HP has a plan for me. Maybe being alone is a chance to get to know myself and become comfortable with the idea. But I shouldn't question my HP. I asked what my purpose was and someone recommended the Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra. HOpe you find your answer.
