The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just joined the board today. Glad to be here. I have been spending a lot of time posting on another board for different reasons but found that I always ended up talking about the same thing which is my alcoholic husband and all the issues around that. So "dummy" I said to myself... "join an alanon board". I've been in therapy (one on one alanon) for about 3 years now, and I joined the therapy group but I need this too. Just reading stuff from everyone I said now these are my people, they understand.
I'm such a mess now. I finally finally got the guts to leave. We agreed to just separate. We are still married and decided that he would take this year to throw himself into AA or whatever so we could work it out. Well... it's been 3 months now and it's been hell pure HELL. We lived in a very small town and I've been getting "news" about what he's up to etc. It's killing me. There was talk about a woman up at my house. Yes it's my freaking house! A woman! After 10 years and we are still married it had only been a month, what the hell. Rejected by a reject!? $Y#($&# that! I have some serious issues. He still loves me I know but he's such a mess. I don't really think anything happened with that woman, but it's just the thought of it after everything I've been through with him.
I need to go ahead and file for divorce. I know I do. But it's breaking my heart. I've been on antidepressants for about 2 years now and I don't cry. But I am crying now... when I think of divorce I cry. When I think about how unable I am to help. Sometimes I still want to smack him and scream at him and stomp him and then... there are times I want to pick him up and hold him like a baby. What a miserable disease this is...
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"And so for you, I came this far 10 miles above the limit and with no seat belt and I'd do it again" ... - Darr Williams -
Home - That's what I felt like when I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting, found MIP, Home - to my friends and family that knew me without ever meeting me. I'm so glad you joined us. Keep coming back.
Sending Hugs & Wishes of A Special Blessing Your Way,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Welcome to MIP, glad you found us ad welcome home.
I have found the ESH here so helpful. I have really found a great way to supplement my recovery program with the board and the meetings here. Especially since hubby is out of town and can't make it to face to face meetings.
I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time right now. Sadly this disease takes away our loving spouses and turns them into selfish people we now longer recognize. The Three C's helped me. I didn't cause it, I can't conrol it, and I can't cure it.
Keep coming back.
Yours in Reocvery,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Welcome to MIP. My counselor told me to go to Alanon. After I went to a few meetings, he said,"are they your people". At the time, I hesitated. Did I want to be associated with Alanon? A wholehearted YES these are my people. My husband moved out. I have heard rumors about what he does (even though we are still married). It does hurt after all we have been through and we have three children together but you know what he does is really about him not me. I can't control it. Keep coming back.
Thanks everyone. And you are all so right. I know it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him and his illness. Still... I truly do TRY to take things one day at a time. Sigh.
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"And so for you, I came this far 10 miles above the limit and with no seat belt and I'd do it again" ... - Darr Williams -
