The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new here. I have a young adult daughter who is addicted to cocaine. Now, after leaving two rehabs, she has just attained 46 days clean. Last night I got a call from the family she is living with. They said that she did not come home or call and wanted me to help find her. I thought that she was using again or dead. The fear just took me over. I called all of her friends. My husband and I even drove past a drug house we knew she used to frequent.
In the end it turned out that she had written a note that got lost in the hustle and bustle of preparing for a fourth of july party. She came waltzing in when the party was due to start. Even after talking to her and believing her I cried for 2 more hours. She upset a lot of people but I acted the craziest. what could I do differently? I wish that I was braver or stronger.
I should have called an alanon friend but I did not want to ruin their holiday and especially when I knew she was alive but I was still a mess.
I so remember those frantic moments (not exactly matched to yours) but frantic about the A's in my life.
I have found that if someone is on a list in my face to face group, they are there because they are willing to serve by listening to you and talking with you. It took a lot of courage in the beginning for me to pick up that phone when I was hurting and yet I always felt so much better after I finally spoke to someone and got outside of my head (a dangerous neighborhood to go into alone).
Welcome to Miracles In Progress (MIP). I also know that many of my families hysterical moments became historical ones. UGH. One day at a time, I am trying not to create any more history (ha ha).
Keep coming back, this program works if you work it and you are worth it. yours in recovery, Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Welcome to MIP! Here you will find great strength, hope,wisdom and humor (good for the heart). So glad your daughter is okay.
My hubby is newly sober, and he has bouts of sobriety before. I can remember one time he forgot to leave me a note, and didn't come home. I was a wreck! I didn't have any local alanon numbers (as my f2f meetings here aren't great), but I had some from here. Umm, I forgot to use them. But I did come into the chat room, and a friend reminded me about our tools: detaching with love, letting Go and letting God, and a whole other list of things. They also just let me talk it out. A few hours later in walks hubby completely sober. What a relief!
He now has 30+ days sobriety, and working his program. I'll tell you something, every day he doesn't drink, I feel relieved. Every day I work my program, I am grateful. It's natural to be fearful and a bit apprehensive. That first year sobriety is sooo important for them. I try not to let the fear paralyze me. Once in a while, when certain situations present themselves in which he would drink, I hold my breath. But he gets through them, and I smile with pride and love, that he's doing it. He still reminds me that: "An addict is going to do what an addict is going to do. We can do nothing about it." But I find myself twisting it into a more positive statement: "A recovering addict is going to do what a recovering addict is going to do. The only thing I can do about is trust God to look after them."
I encourage you to come to our chat rooms. If you can't make you local f2f try our meetings here. They are always good. Glad you are part of our family.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn, Sober Hubby, and Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Welcome to the MIP family group. You are in the right place to share and gain insight into recovery. I can relate to the frantic nights waking up in the middle of the night and the A is gone and took the car. I would pace the floor look out the window. I'd call his cell phone but of course its turned off. I don't have those moments so much anymore and he hasn't done that in a while either. Sometimes when he's late coming home or working a double I get a twinge of anxiety in my stomach. I have learned to say the Serenity prayer silently to myself over and over each time focusing on the words and their meaning. To accept the things I cannot change; which is what he chooses to do in his life. I am learning I can change my response to him being late or choosing to stay away from the home to do something else. I can learn to be calm and rely on HP to get me through those moments. A year ago before really devoting my time and energy to Alanon I didn't have that capability. Your daughter may choose to go back out and use but today she is sober and that is good. Glad you are here, keep sharing with us.
Hugs,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I didn't have any local alanon numbers (as my f2f meetings here aren't great), but I had some from here. Umm, I forgot to use them. 
But I did come into the chat room, and a friend reminded me about our tools: detaching with love, letting Go and letting God, and a whole other list of things. They also just let me talk it out. A few hours later in walks hubby completely sober. What a relief! 
