The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm not a "regular" at the meetings here. I go to ACA meetings more often than ALANon. I go to ALAnon when I can. I chat there often early on Sundays, but the meeting times are a bit late for me.
I just went to the morning meeting. I missed part of it. I raised my hand to share at the beginning of a share. Two others (who I see as regulars) raised near the end of that share. The chairperson called on the one that raised right after I did. I sai..I had my hand up before her. Then the chairperson called on the second person to raise a hand after me and said this is our last share.
It hurt my feelings. It was as if MY share was not worthy of even being noticed since I am not a regular. IS there a clique here and only "regulars" are chosen to share?
I'm not new to alanon. I have over 13 yearsl I'm also not new to online meetings. I was at a different site for 8 years and personally chaired 2 meetigns a week there for those 8 years. (many weeks it was three meetigns a week.) I DO KNOW sometimes we can miss a hand. But if a person said..I think I was next...I always scrolled back and checked. I did that today. ANd yes, I WAS before those two.
I left the meeting before that last share. I'm not sure if or when I'll be back. I dont go where my ES & H is not wanted.
hi I am sorry that I missed ur hand. It wasn't meant to hurt u. Pls next time double click on my name and tell me that u have had ur hand up. I must of looked a way for a min. Pls forgive me. It wasn't done because they are regulars.
nycbt
-- Edited by nycbt at 12:34, 2006-07-04
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
As nycbt state she must have just missed you. Speaking as a chairperson myself there is alot going on for a chair person in the rooms during the meeting. Especially if the chair person is also getting the door (greeting guests, pming people who just come into the room the topics, answering questions of newcomers about meetings and alanon). I worry about missing someone everytime I chair a meeting, but then I remember that I am only human and that does not equal perfection. So mistakes will happen.
One other possibility, if you are using aol, I have heard that sometimes we can not see the words that aol users type. I would suggest that you read John's post on up top about the chat room if you use aol.
I hope you come back.
Yours in Recovery,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
I sooo used to take things personal. Thank goodness for recovery. It reminds me that it's not always about me. So many other forces in this world ........ Nothing like a good meeting or a good post to help dilute my distorted thinking.
Keep coming and enjoy HP's sense of humor,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
I wasn't in the meeting, so I don't know about your situation. But I just wanted to pop in and say that in the over-a-year that I've been coming to chat and meetings, no one has ever shown any favoritism to any "regulars". I've raised my hand many times as a newbie and was treated just like everyone else. (I am the worst at feeling left out of things!)
nycbt is a wonderful person ~ she wouldn't treat anyone like that, in my humble opinion. Please DO come back again, we would love to get to know you and would love any ESH you may have to offer us!
and enjoy HP's sense of humor,