The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday when I posted the original post, I had just finished the conversation with the woman who told me the story. And I was hot, as you can tell form the post. I have a tendancy to let my anger get the better of me, and just needed to vent when I came here
So vent I did. I don't know the whole story, I don't know what his family went through, I just know what I was told, and that is only part of the story.
I just know that for me, I got something out of that story, for me it reminded me that the way I work my program doesn't have room for insulting my "A". That is what I got out of it.
I wasn't mad at that family, I don't even know them, I was mad at me. I was reminded of the tiems when I did insult, when I did kick him when he was down. How cruel and self-righteous I have been and can easily be if I don't work my program.
I just didn't see that last night. The things that set off my temper the easiest are normally the things I need to work on in me. LOL, and that rang true yesterday.
Thanks to all who responded to my post.
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Just read both your posts on this. I personally did not see you as judging or condemning that man's family. What I got from it was simply the reminder that words can hurt. Whether it is words they say, or words that we say. I've come here and vented at times about my A or other family members. I've done that because I needed to get that angry poisonous thinking out of my head and this is supposed to be a safe place to vent where others understand. It also keeps me from venting AT them which could only be harmful. Lord knows I don't like it when others vent at me, so I am glad I have somewhere safe to vent without harming those I love. And I do love them, even when I'm angry and venting about them. I think it was a wonderful post with a good reminder about our own attitude. As our slogan goes "Let It Begin with Me." If I do not want to be hurt by words, am I taking care that my own words don't hurt? That's what I need to look at. Thank you for sharing!!
Luv, Kis
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Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
I do the same thing here too. Just get out what is inside of me. I find I have a strong reaction to things that are triggers in my life too. I wish that all people would think of each person's feelings. But, we are all human and this is not a perfect world. Your post to me was educational and a reminder of how words can literally cause a person to kill themselves. Thanks again for your honesty. cdb xoxoxo
Mandy... haven't even read the posts that are being referred to hear, but am reminded of a line that was taught to me during a men's group session several years ago, and continues to resonate within.....
"Words can be used for two things, and two things only....to BUILD UP, or to BREAK DOWN"
Those words come back to me all the time, and they are an awesome reminder to us all.... I try to apply that in my dealings with my kids, as well as for life in general...
Take care
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I read this post (didn't read your initial post) and it made me do alot of thinking about my own life and my reactions to alot of times in my past before the program. I was unkind on many of occasions not only to myself but to those around me. That is because I couldn't see the damage it was causing me deep down. But now that I have the program it does get easier. When I tend to try and fall back into my old patterns of behavior. I start to get angry inside. I can make the choice not to want to be around him, especially when it is effecting me mentally, spiritually. I just got tired of the unheathy behaviour. Because I knew deep down it wasn't who I am. Doesn't mean I love him less just means I love me more. I haven't been able to make it to a meeting in a few weeks. But my home group has been a blessing to me. Even though I can't make it to a meeting, I know that they are only a phone call away. I wish you love and serenity on your journey of discovery of you.
"Let it begin with me", really does say how I feel inside.
I haven't been able to make it to my home group either, no daycare at the moment. I to take comfort that all my ladies (sorry guys home group is normally all ladies) are at the other end of that phone whenever I am in need.
Yours In Recovery,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
