Newbee to this board...My parents drink but im an alki too.. - Al-Anon Family Group

Rob · Member

Newbee to this board...My parents drink but im an alki too..

Jill · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Rob, welcome to AlAnon. This is the place for you if you are affected by someone else's addiction (drinking). Here we learn that we did not cause their behavior, and we cannot control it or cure it. Liberating news! I hope you can find a face-to-face AlAnon meeting, where you will be completely accepted, welcomed and loved. We have online meetings at Miracles in Progress, and this message board is open to you al the time. Hope to see you around. take care -- Jill

greta · Senior Member

welcome Rob!!

You are a Double Winner ! We are Powerless over alcohol period, doesn't matter if we are the drinker/druger, or the person who loves one. You have come to a wonderful website. Lots of people have been right where you are at. Hope you check out the chatroom and the online meetings. There is also an AA message board and chatroom here too!! You are welcome where ever you feel you need to be.

Greta

Lunamoth · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Rob!!!

I'm glad you are here. I want you to know you are not the only A who has A's in their life, most A's do. This program differs from AA and has a lot to offer you. One of the first things we learn here are the three C's, you didn't cause it, you can't control it (in another person ), and you can't cure it. They have to want it/sobriety for themselves - we really are powerless over that.

There is much to learn here, it can offer you strength and hope. You are not alone. Welcome, and please keep coming back!

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello , welcome to Al-Anon rob. Ihave no problem with u being here . Your program must come first AA , but anyone who loves an A qualifies for our prog too. There is nothing u can do about them you don't say if your living in thier home or on your own,if living with them it is pretty difficult to stay reasonably sane.

If u are like most of us u are probably enabling them ,lying for them , covering up thier mistakes , making sure they eat properly possibly paying their bills etc. I too did all the wrong things for the right reasons, until we stop doing for them what they should be doing for themselves nothing will ever change for them and you will only become more frustrated .

If you could add one f2f Al-Anon meeting to your list it would help you alot to detach with love and find some acceptance of who they are. good luck Louise

Dolphin123 · ~*Service Worker*~

Rob,

Welcome to alanon. I personally feel that all "A"s could benefit from alanon.

Glad you found us. And I hope you truly feel the welcome here.

When I first came to alanon I heard the 3 C's : I didn't cause the drinkin, I can' cure the drinking, and I can't control the drinking. That has really helped me to take the responsibilty of my "A"s drinking/using off my shoulders.

It must be hard to watch your parents walk down the same painful road that you yourself have been down. But you don't have to watch them alone.

Keep coming back.

Rob · Member

Thanx everyone, its so much appreciated. Such a warm feeling from you accepting me. I wasnt entirely sure given the fact im an A too..

But my parents drinking does hurt so much so thank you.

Rob

Rob · Member

greta wrote:

welcome Rob!! You are a Double Winner ! We are Powerless over alcohol period, doesn't matter if we are the drinker/druger, or the person who loves one. You have come to a wonderful website. Lots of people have been right where you are at. Hope you check out the chatroom and the online meetings. There is also an AA message board and chatroom here too!! You are welcome where ever you feel you need to be. Greta

Yeah i am a member of the AA board and have been for some time now.. thanx

Busbe · Veteran Member

Hey Rob,

Welcome aboard glad to have you. If someone elses drinking is bothering you

You are in the right place.....Busbe

gardengal · ~*Service Worker*~

First of all welcome. In my home group we have 2 male double winners, and I think it gives us alanoners more perspective on the disease. I just want to say glad you are here, and you cant control your parents, but you certainly can control yourself and take care of yourself as you need to. Keep coming back.............gardengal

RamzDear · Veteran Member

I'm a recovering A myself. As a matter of fact I can relate to the 'guilt' feeling as well. I used to think "My Lord, I'm exactly of the same cloth that is giving these decent people grief in their individual lives.How can I...?" Then I thought that I am doing my very best to work on myself. I thought being with my A mate I'm facing such a fragile sense of heightened pain because I've been there;I need to be here more than ever. I haven't thought this clearly in years and now it seems even more lonely-on the surface. Deep down and truthfully I know I have refuge here.

I cry because I know exactly where my A is coming from and the realization that he won't do anything to help himself is something I can relate to. He will never be without understanding.Yet there is also that divide and fine line I tread to not appear judgemental but I need him to take care of himself. It's something else. It's a daily struggle to keep my self preservation as a number one goal.

Stay. I'm relatively new myself. Just stay and ditch the guilt. Just because we have made our missteps doesn't mean we suffer any less..or need less understanding. take good care.

dori · Senior Member

Rob,

Yeah Rob is here this is my buddy Rob.I am so glad you are here .You belong here and thanks for the hi dori it made me smile.

You know I grew up with both of my parents drinking I know how painful that is to watch and grow up in.You cant control it for them or cure it and you didnt cause it.

I am glad you are here , stay awhile

dori

Rob · Member

Thanx everyone for the warm welcome.

And hey dori, thanx.

nycbt · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.

World Service Organization Website –

WWW.al-anon.alateen.org

Alanon meetings 1-888-425-2666

Al-Anon Family Groups UK & Eire
61 Great Dover Street
London
SE1 4YF

Tel: 020 7403 0888

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.

Go face to face meeting & online meeting.
post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

· In this program u learn that u have choices. In Alanon we don’t give advice but only suggestions.

· Set support system. people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.

Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.

Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.