Thought I'd  share our meeting topic last night:  Waiting.  Waiting can be a good thing in program, making wise choices when we are not angry and/or impulsive.  Waiting on the other hand, well, you know, makes us feel like we are just sinking more into the quicksand.  Our group had a wonderful discussion about all the feelings and emotions that we experience "while we are waiting".

It was pretty interesting as my counselor had pointed out to me that "I HESITATE!"  (on just about everything!) even though I am well in a lot of areas of my recovery....this One Area is a stickler for me.   I know sometimes I PROCRASTINATE.  I know some times I experience INERTIA when I should be making  decisions, or just plain need to do a chore or take care of a simple responsibility.  (Like I think it's going to be like climbing a mountain!)  I still hold back from speaking my mind....when I need to speak.   STALLING, BUYING TIME, these are other nifty little terms I can use, too.

I can put someone else thoughtfully first in front of me in a split-second, not even thinking about myself until after I have said "Yes".  That's ironic!  Didn't  HESITATE there!

Do I HOLD MYSELF BACK financially, emotionally at times yet?  Yep.   I am sure there are other ways I do, too.  However, I am just now AWARE of this behavior of mine.  All from living with alcoholism and the negativity of the disease.      Back to the drawing board and practice, practice, practice.