The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is my youngest granddaughter's first birthday, Caroline Olivia - I haven't seen her in over three months. Her mom, Ashley (our daughter) is the one that I saw last week in rehab. Caroline is staying with her other grandparents(Ashley's Mom & Step-Dad) who do not participate in Al-Anon. At this time they do not understand addiction as a disease. They believe that Ashley should just stop using and get her act together, that Ashley's Dad (my AH) is sober, so he should get his daughter clean.
Because we have had to set boundaries and limit our contact with Ashley before she went into Rehab and would not do want her Mom and Step-Dad wanted us to do - they will not return our phone calls - so we don't get to see Caroline. So we will not see her for her birthday or participate in her party. I still bought Caroline's birthday gifts and will either give them to Ashley when she gets out of rehab or mail them to the house.
To make sure that I did what is right for me today, I signed up to chair my Al-Anon f2f meeting tonight on "victim role" - I lived the first 39 years of my life as a victim, but thanks to Al-Anon, I am striving to be a victim no more. I will trust that my HP will someday let me be a part of that precious little girl's life - He has been so faithful in so many other areas - I will just let go and let Him handle it -
Hope this helps all of you who have had to miss those special occasions birthdays, anniversaries, etc. due to this disease
Thanks for letting me share - it helps me to keep my thinking in a healthy place,
Have a blessed day,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
That is very sad that they will not return your calls. Since my A son does not have custody of my beautiful granddaughters, I worry about that kind of thing happening in my life. My dil assures me that no matter what happens those girls will be in mine and hubby's life because she knows how much they love us and how much we love them. I am very greatful for my dil.
Happy Birthday to Little Caroline on her very first birthday.
I can't beleive they are not returning your calls, that is totally unfair. I wish you all the best and hope they realize sooner than later what alcoholism is. Maybe then they might be a little more patient and understanding.
They (Ashley's Mom & Step-Dad) are not bad people - they just don't understand. They are trying to do the best they can with what they know. Sometimes it is easier to be angry at us, instead of angry at the disease or Ashley. Prior to Al-Anon, I might have felt the same way. Maybe someday, they'll get the miracle of Al-Anon also - How great would that be for everyone!!
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
