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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> help
Post Info TOPIC: help
Lizza


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I have been married for 19 years.  My husband is a great guy, but an addict.  He is trying to get off Vicodin right now but in a month or so it will be something else.  He get addicted to something different every 6 months or a year.  He is a great guy, good father to our 2 children and we run a business together for the last 19 years.  But I can't handle his addictions and his inner problems any longer. We have done counciling in the past but he really needs to work a program.  Just can't get him to think that it will help and he has a big ego.


I am familiar with programs.  Father, step father, sister, brother and many cousins, aunts and uncles are alcoholics or drug addicts.  I have been to ACA and  some al-anon meetings. But got busy in life and didn't keep going.  Kept going to private counciling.  I need Al-anon and I will keep looking. If anybody knows of meetings in the South Bay, CA, I would be interested in knowing where.



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d53sjurne


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Hi Lizza,


Hope you can find time to come back here too. Thanks for posting.


There are online meeting here everyday.


In Recovery, BLESSINGS



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I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
canadianguy


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Welcome Lizza....  Try this site, as it has a meeting locator built right in...


Keep coming back!


Tom


 


http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/



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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 
abbyal


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Hi lizza welcome to Al-Anon  here is the toll free international number hey willl give u info on meetings nearest you , 1-888-4alanon  good luck . Keep looking your worth it and I do understand your not able to deal with this anymore and the good news is You can but do it diff with the help of our program .  Al-Anon helped me to the point where I was able tostay in m y marriage and get happy , 17 yrs ago my husb decided he wanted to be happy too and sought sobriety.  Y a never know.    I know that nothing changes til Someone changes.   Louise

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I came- I came to-I came to be
kitty


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(((((((( Hugs Lizza )))))))))))) & Welcome to walking Miracels in Progress 


I grew up ACOA & did the same thing... at 17-18 went to Al-Anon for nearly 2 years, then thinking 'I knew it all' & fell back into the dysfunctional family dynamics for 19 years & I lovingly refer to that as a slip!


Dated one addict after another, married an addict & at 38 am only just beginning to understand what it means to love myself & not 'give it all away' to an A, being concerned with their well being, needs & wants well over mine ~ martyring myself to death.


Others gave you resources to find a local meeting, this Board is a wonderful place to vent & get ESH experience, strength & hope from others.  For me even just having a place where I can talk openly & freely without being criticized or judged & best of all, understood has helped tremendously.


This site also has a chat room open 24/7 & we have meetings in there twice a day, every day.



 


"We have done counciling in the past but he really needs to work a program.  Just can't get him to think that it will help and he has a big ego." -Lizza


It is difficult for all of us to admit we are vulnerable & need help, for an addict that would be recognizing & admitting their problem through their extreme compulsion & that awareness would be the beginning of their recovery.  We can't directly do anything for them, it is up to them & God/HP but we can make changes within ourselves which do create a ripple effect...  if we don't react in the same old way & take a new course of action, it will make the other person change the way they act/react.


For me re-learning that I can only control, change or 'cure' myself was a Blessing...  I could stop focusing on everything & just deal with me at face value ~ liberating & thank God, it's hard to face the 'ugly side' & be brutally honest but then again, we are all human & have about the same emotions, it is how we deal with them that makes the difference.


What I'm gently (or not) trying to express, is that all you can do is save yourself & as we as loving nuturers turn our focus to us & start living our own lives, consciously, sometimes our A's take notice & decide they want a better life too.


You aren't alone, hang in there.  If u can't get to a meeting locally sometimes going into chat or the Board makes a world of difference, so glad you found us & hope you keep coming back.


Love, a friend in recovery, -Kitty of Light



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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
nycbt


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.


 


World Service Organization Website –


WWW.al-anon.alateen.org


Alanon meetings 1-888-425-2666


Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html 


Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.



  • Go face to face meeting & online meeting.

  • post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

·        Set support system.  people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.



  • Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.


 


Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.


 



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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
Lizza


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I will be back...I need it!  Thanks.

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Lizza


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I can not get any information for my area.  All I have found out is to send 75 cents to an adress and they will send me a list.  Any suggestions on what I might be doing wrong? 

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Lizza


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You are so right!  But I don't think he is strong enough.  He really enjoys being unhappy and complaining about everything.  I'm sorry, I am very negative right now...I have lost hope that we will spend our lives growing old together.  We are going to get old and I will be alone while he is out of his mind on some substance.  He can not live his live in reality...it's to over welming and he has to escape.  On the other hand, I don't drink, smoke or do drugs and rarely take medicine even if I need it.  I work out all the time, he smokes a Huka now.  Everything I ask him to do together, he finds a reason why he can't.  The bottom line Vicodin is controlling his life, physically and mentally.  I wish he would go into a hospital program...but he would die first!  Even if I left with the kids....he would blame me for everything, and I have problems..like the typical addict denial. 


That's why I need a meeting or group...I know what works I just need to get there!


Thanks for listening.



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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Aloha Lizza!!


You are here now and that's what counts.  You are very aware of your condition and even more aware of his.  It's your condition that is important if you continue to stay willing and come after the peace of mind and serenity others in the Family Groups have found even inspite of the still using/drinking addict/alcoholic.  He doesn't have to stop in order for you to be here.  Often times the alcoholic/addict will seek help when it's enabler gets into recovery.


South Bay must have a zillion meetings a month for the population of afflicted people in that dense an area who desire to get clean and sober and find serenity and sanity.  Call the hotline and if you can't drive or get to a meeting for some reason, someone will come for you.


Let go and Let God and come join us.  You are not alone.  We are all over the planet.


Love in Recovery and Service (((((hugs)))))



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Dolphin123


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Lizza,


I would suggest that you look in your local phone book in the yellow Pages, and look under alcohol. You should at least find a number for AA. Call them they should be able to tell you where to fins alanon. Or call a local hospital. Those are the ideas that I have.


Keep Coming Back, you are worth it!



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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
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