The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just wanted to come in and wish all the dads out there a very Happy Father's Day!!
This will be the first year we get to celebrate Father's Day for my eldest son (baby due July 24th). What a pleasure it has been watching him grow and mature. His gf has a 3 year old and he is just so marvelous with him, so patient and caring. Not a child of his blood, but you'd never know that from the way he treats him. That to me says a lot. To watch him being so caring and protective of mommy-to-be (even when she's driving him nuts LOL) is awesome also. I haven't always done my best by him, but somehow he has turned out okay anyway. I kinda feel like I too am "maturing" right along with him. This program has done so much in those regards, helped both he and I. I make more of an effort to really listen to him now, to acknowlegde his opinions and feelings, rather than being that controlling mom and telling him what he should think/feel (yikes! did I used to do that? yup.) The communication skills I'm learning here are just awesome. We've had some talks about our past and his resultant anger issues. I shared with him some things I've learned and am learning in Al-Anon. The main thing being, I can't change the past for myself or anyone else, but I can change ME today and work on being a better person. Told him he too has the same opportunity, to work on changing himself versus staying mired down in the anger. Since that talk, I've seen such growth in him. There have been a few times when I could see him holding back the anger and working so hard to speak calmly and not give in to his old behavior of blowing up. And he succeeded! I am so proud of his accomplishment with that, as I know how very hard it is to change old behaviors myself. What a blessing this program of Al-Anon has been and still is!
Gratefully, Kis
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Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
Thanks Kis.... as one of the many fathers out here, I appreciate the sentiment!! I think I'm gonna take my kids for a nice picnic lunch on Father's Day!
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Thank you and the others for the Fathers day wishes.
My humble opinion after reading your thoughtful posts over the time I have been here is: You may not have done things in the past as you would do them over now, but I would wager you did do your best at the time. Sounds like you have a fine young man there to prove it. You should be very proud.
I adopted my oldest at age 5. Even though he is battling with this crazy disease at 21, I wouldn't undo that for all the gold in Fort Knox. He may not have been born of my blood, but he is part of my soul.
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
