The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My name is Anita. My husband is an alcoholic and I am losing patience rapidly. I am hoping to find some wisdom from others in this forum. How do all of you deal with your alcoholic?
Welcome to the family. Here you will find great strength, experience, wisdom, hope and humor (good for the heart).
Alanon gives us the tools to become healthier and happier person. You will learn many useful things such as: Let Go and Let God, One Day at a Time, and Detachment. I know it sounds daunting and overwhelming, but it can be done. When I first came here, I was a wreck . I had never dealt with alcoholism in my family directly. What did I know? But I was welcomed here by so many sweet people that I came to understand that: Ididn't cause, I can't cure it, I can't control it.
The other thing that I always say to the newbies: You must not loose yourself in their disease (alcoholism is a disease). You're recovery has to be about you, regardless if your hubby decides to recover. Your recovery is absolutely possible.
Please look for local face-to-face meetings in your area. Also come join us for our meetings here on line, or just to chat. Keep coming back to us. There is always hope.
Live strong,
Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Welcome to MIP. So glad you found us. You are in the right place.
First I would like to echo what Karilynn said. Ididn't cause, I can't cure it, I can't control it. Helped take a big weight off my shoulders. It helped me take my "A" off my shoulders.
For me the best thnig I do for myself and this also helps my "A", is to focus on me. I take the focus off of him. I don't need to obsess on him to show him that I love him. By simply allowing him to make his choices and face his consequences, I am doing what I need to be doing for him. That is it.
I attend f2f (face to face) meetings. I normally have a regular schedule but right now he is in Alaska and with 3 kids, I go when I can or to the meetings that aren't bothered by the kids being there. I attend meetings here on line. They are really great meetings. I have a sponsor. I come here and post my heartaches and my success.
Keep coming back.
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Welcome Anita, and hope you find great things here, as there are lots of wonderful people on this site.... The question of "how do we deal with our alcoholics" can best be answered, albeit a bit tongue-in-cheek, by "as little as possible".... Truth is, active alcoholics are VERY difficult to deal with, so we find that it is better for our health and sanity to deal with ourselves...
Please keep coming back, posting your story and/or questions here.... If your husband is active, please try to get a book entitled "Getting Them Sober", volume one, by Toby Rice Drews - it helped me immeasurably.
Take care
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Hello Anita , how do we deal with the Alcoholic ?? fact is we learn here to not deal with his problem and it is his problem but we make it ours , some thing tells us that we can help solve this and end up turning ourselves inside out and acomplish nothing but more chaos. I hope u will find an Al-anon meeting for yourself and learn about this disease and how to learn to love him but detach from his behavior . leave his problem with him where it belongs while u get your life back on track . good luck Louise
. I had never dealt with alcoholism in my family directly. What did I know? But I was welcomed here by so many sweet people that I came to understand that: I didn't cause, I can't cure it, I can't control it. 
