The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I made it .. I drove from Florida to Ohio by myself ( with my kids ) .. It was a long drive but I did it..
We are having fun but I really miss my husband .. For those of you that dont know he and I fought before we were suppose to leave on our FAMILY vacation and he took the camper and went to the mountains while I took the car and kids and went to OHIO. I am enjoying my time here visiting family and going to Cedar POint riding rollercoasters..
My husband called Thursday to check on us, and proceeded to tell me that his truck broke, it had been raining and heis having a miserable time. That was Thursday today is Sunday and i havent heard anything else from him. I wasnt sure what he expected me to do ? I was in OHIO . I am not sure if he is alone or with someone else.. That makes me sad too... I have to let go but MAN it is hard..
I want to spend this time figuring out what is next .. ?? For me, and for the kids.. where do i go from here ??
I am sure that there will be a lot of firsts.. What is my next step ? Does he come home from his vacation and pretend everything is okay ? Does he move out ? Does he choose to make a decision to seek help ?
I am not sure what will happen when i get home but i will try to enjoy today !!
good for you! I know how you feel. It is so neat to try your wings and like it. Uno?
I bet your kids are impressed with you. If they aren't now, they will be someday.
Sad about your husband. You are right, take things as they come. One thing I have learned in all the years of my experience, things can come up that you never thought about so might as well stop guessing.
Hi Tammy! I Will be leaving for a vacation without my husband in a few weeks. I will be going by myself as well, actually it will be me and my 5 year old daughter. I have been discussing this topic of vacation with him for quite sometime now. Everything seems to be going smoothly. But I have fear. Of what you ask. Fear of him showing his true feelings when it will be time for us to leave. He has done this before. He will be fine until maybe a day before its time to leave then he will start giving me all these "things" he needs me to do. These 'things' are things that could wait until I got back. Then he will start to say things that will start to make me want to worry about something bad happening to us on the trip. Like he will say "what are you going to do if you blow a tire or break down?"ect.... Then he will complain about how much money I going to be spending. I am already dreading this. I swear its like he is trying to get me to change my mind about going. It makes me so mad! I am going to try and turn this over to HP as best as I can. But it will be hard I know. I am going from NC to Florida. Only A 7 hr trip. Not bad but still a good drive.
As far as whats going on between you and your husband I know its tough. I dont know what your whole situation is or any thing. I dont know If you are dealing with an active alcoholic, dry drunk or a sober in aa alcoholic but frankly it doesnt really matter because no matter who you deal with the bottom line is you cant control any thing he does but you know who you can control. At least I hope you do. I am assuming you are an active member of Al-Anon because you are a member of this forum. I am also assuming that you love your husband very much considering the mess you have put up with/are putting up with him. I assume you do not want to leave him because you love him and the history you have with him. You cant change him but you can change your actions and reactions to him and in that itself will most likely promote change in him, whether good or bad. I once bought a greeting card at Hallmark simply because I liked what it said. It is a quote by Maya Angelou It states: "We cannot change the past, but we can change our Attitude toward it. Uproot guilt and sow Forgiveness. tear out arrogance and seed Humility. Exchange Love for hate--thereby, making the present comfortable and the future Promising." To me that is one of the most amazing things I have ever heard, I have learned so much just from that simple little quote. I hope it helps you the same way and I also hope that my post has helps. Good Luck, Tammy -hpnodat
Ive been vacationing most of the time without my husband since our son was 4. That first vacation was a very memorable one for us. I remember driving that triangle up in the White Mtns. In just over a week Im taking our son back up to the White Mtns - this time with his friend. He just turned 14.
In March I flew down to FL with a friend and her daughter. Spent my first 3 nights at WDW solo. They had gone offsite to a cheerleading competition. They later joined me for 5nights at WDW.
I thoroughly enjoy vacationing with our son and by myself. Last year I took our son to WDW two weeks - just the 2 of us. My husband is joining us for our 2nd week at WDW in August.
EVERY vacation I take w/my AH is miserable. He ALWAYS picks fights w/me over stuff. I have considered the whole vacation w/just the kids and me. It scares me but intrigues me also. Maybe one day. I mean I have done the whole weekend trip w/out him but I have always had my family (parents & sisters) with me. But to go w/just the kids....wow - What freedom. :)
