I'm sitting here with a pile of clean laundry folded in my clean house. And it strikes me how much better off we are now financially without the A. I had a very well paid high stress job at the time we split. I loved it though. Being able to buy little luxuries for myself and the kids was a true joy after years of feeling like I couldn't. And now, im technically worse off financially on paper in terms of earnings and yet somehow im wayyyy better materially with the A gone. Those years were very bleak. I studied, I worked, I raised children. But there was never enough. Overtly nothing was spent on alcohol. Yet somehow, we couldn't afford a couch or even a bed for myself! I even had at one stage an outstanding internet bill for 7 months which was the first thing i took care if when I landed my first pay cheque. The first thing I did when we split was buy myself and the family a new couch. It's perfect for snuggling on to watch movies on the new TV I bought. Everyone now has new beds and new blankets. I finally have my own bedroom. There's still a way to go because this is an old house and needs a lot of repairs but the progress on it in only 18 months is more than ever happened in 7 years with two income sources. It's quite incredible. I thank my higher power always for looking out for me because it is truly a thing where when you meet HP halfway by doing the next right thing, the other half of the journey exceeds all expectations when HP steps in. My career has been another matter I've struggled with over the last 18 months. I had to quit my job because everything crashed at the same time including disabled childs caregiving arrangements. Omg that was so hard at the time. I'd just finished a grueling post grad qualification of 5 months, got offered a new better contract with a trip to Asia and I had to turn it down because the only way I could have taken it was to invite the A back in with all their chaos and bullshit and I refused point blank to do that. Now I have a lower but steady income and there are offers that come in. I recently traveled overseas as a contractor which was so cool. Flights and hotels including the stopover flight, allowances, being around other similiar minds and the icing on the cake was a day off at the end for shopping and sightseeing. That was the first break from mom life I'd had in 13 years. Waking up in comfort to silence and getting to shower and sail out of hotel room to hot coffee and breakfast without first taking care of several other people. Shopping like a regular adult in a beautiful department store and hailing taxis before catching several flights to get home. I absolutely loved it. I may not reach the heights of a career in diplomacy at my age and stage but I've absolutely loved the highlight experiences I've gained since setting forth on a new course. Not everything has followed the linear pathway I thought would open up but I'm reminding myself that not everything is meant to. Transitions are hard. Surrendering to the unknown is like writing with your dominant hand. I'm still in the process of both so thus was just a share to help keep my mind and heart clear and grateful. Take care everyone