The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My A boyfriend (who lives 2,000 miles away) called last night. Good news! His probation meeting went well. He's finished with community service and has a court date for Sept., he finally received his $ from selling his house, and he has a job interview on Monday! He was so excited and optimistic when we talked. This morning, he calls again. But crying this time. He drank for the first time in 4 months. He's been doing so well working his program, etc. Why would he drink when things are going so well? To celebrate? I'm doing my best to find serenity, but it's sooo hard! He said he's leaving his parent's house and I won't be able to get ahold of him (he doesn't have a phone). Today will be a hard one. I will do my best to let go and let God. Thanks for listening.
I dont know if this will help but it may add clarity. I never watch Oprah and one day just happened to turn it there about 10 days ago and Debra Jay, an addiction specialist was the guest. I c&p this right from Oprah's web (that came right from the show):
Recovery is difficult and Debra says its common for recovering alcoholics to relapse when they're feeling most in control. "You need more support. I would love you to go to a women's AA meeting. Meet some recovering women, women you can call. It's not going to get you when you're feeling really low. It sneaks in when you're feeling really good."
It fits my AH--things were better than they have been in a long time and he went on a binge 2 weeks ago and ended up in jail! I know this does not help but like I say, it makes some sense out of a senseless situaton. I am praying for you.
The insidiousness of this disease is that you never know when you will take a drink. It doesn't need to be a trigger like they talk about in rehab. It can just hit at any time. That's what makes this all so scary for all involved with addiction. My father-in-law who has over 20 sobriety, one day just walked into a local bar and ordered a drink. There was no reason for it. Nothing was bothering him, etc. But he took 1 sip and then walked away from it. But he counts that day as a day he had a drink, and started all over again. He's now on 16+ years dry. It breaks our heart to see them stumble, fall, and sometimes never recover. But we go on.
Our recovery is absolutely possible too. Remember to focus on your recovery, and try to stay out of his. Abbyal has a great post (check the back posts) on: Are you ready for his sobriety? I made a copy of it because it's a great reminder to me, that he has to work on his and I on mine.
Give him to his HP and let your HP guide you too.
Live strong,
Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
My A was sober, briefly, it was the BEST!!!! He even loved who he was and how we were together and the closeness and joy was unbelievable!
Then his friend Ray and his birthday reared their ugly heads and since then it has been ALOT worse.....bad bad bad bad and I know better than to stay with him or put up with his sh*t but I do it!
