I learned about the Door Mat club from a member here on MIP, about 10 years ago.  I don't know who said it but it stuck with me.  And by sticking with my alanon recovery, I finally could do it--no more saying what I think others want to hear--I can say what I need or want to be true and loving to myself.  It's not always easy, but the more I have practiced, the easier it gets.  Last week I said something to my grown son which was not easy for me to say, and not easy for him to hear.  Instead of getting all anxious about it, I felt proud of myself.  And I said what I said in a caring and loving way, so he could hear it.  This alanon is good stuff.  :)