The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In some recovery communities, there is a saying that goes something like "Stick with the winners." On one level, I get it - it's intended to guide people seeking recovery to hang out with people who are already "succeeding" in their recovery.
However, I don't like the implication that there are winners and losers in recovery. Recovery isn't about judging other people's recovery. Anyone seeking or attempting recovery is worthy of respect and support, regardless of what they achieve (or don't) through their efforts.
I prefer to focus on the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who have positive energy. Positive energy is supportive, uplifting, inspiring, and contagious.
Creating or joining a circle of woman-identifying individuals whose energy is positive doesn't mean those individuals are perfect, consistently happy, or high achievers in all things. Positive energy also includes energy that is warm, forgiving, and compassionate. You will find your circle of women who are all of these things because you are a woman who is all of these things. Your recovery energy will attract your recovery circle.
As we choose our support system,
so too do we choose our energy.
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Today's Gift Book She Recovers Every Day
Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*
*Meditations can be specific, but themes are universal: apply as needed on your personal journey.
I know this is geared for women but I thought it's good for all of us.. I have become a lot more discerning in who I hang out with because my time now I value and if someone is toxic or just not open, I just kindly distance myself and move on....
I'm happy and nourished with my close circle.. used to be it was quantity but now it is quality and even my pot smoking brother when he is not using he is very nice and funny and kind and I enjoy talking with him but when he's hanging out with that crowd and they're smoking pot, I just detach and talk with you later.......
The people I choose now are open and honest and humble and transparent and if they're having a bad day they tell me just like I tell them..... We can share with each other without being afraid of rejection or being attacked and it wasn't always that way with me until I got deeper into my recovery....
I guess I raised the bar on admission to my heart I'm not in the bargain basement anymore I'm up in the glass cases where the good jewels are
Rosie, nice to see your posts. I've got nearly 15 years in alanon and I never heard the phrase, stick with the winners. I too, find it a bit biased. Recovery has taught me to not judge a book by its cover, that everyone deserves compassion and respect, and live and let live. I do choose my inner circle of friends very carefully, and I don't easily trust. But I do want to be open and give people a chance. As I continue with my recovery, I have learned to say "no," and resigned from the Doormat Club. Grateful member always.
Hey Lyne. I think I make judgment calls every time I make a decision to either connect with someone or just to detach and keep my distance.... And you know when these people write these dailies of which this one I am not so familiar, , I just look at a person's heart... I don't care about anything but how they live their lives and how they treat themselves and how they treat others and how they treat animals and children and even though I say I am not judgmental I do make a judgment call when I decide or not decide to have somebody close in my life....
I've just been burned too many times and the first 20 years of my life the people I should have trust had the right to trust, they were the ones who betrayed me the worst and then I just kept going into dysfunctional relationship after dysfunctional relationship and finally I drug myself into here..... It's funny I qualify just about for every 12-step program.... Because I married two alcoholics...
I grew up with abusive and just horrid people.... So I became not just an Al-Anon but I discovered that I was codependent and also ACA I mean I qualified for just about every 12 steps room there is.... I abused alcohol to numb my pain but I was very very lucky in that I didn't get addicted to it in other words when I got into recovery and really committed to getting to know myself it was easy to give up the escaping mechanism of alcohol and face life's sober...
. And you know when people write dailies I have to remember that they are people too and they are writing from their perspective so that's where I learned in Al-Anon take what you can use and leave the rest
I like what you have to say and I'm glad you're on here.....
