The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For some reason my original Maresie account was deleted. I am not going to wonder why.
These past weekend I took care of myself when I had some awful novo virus thing, totally wiped out with the flu. Normally when I am sick, I am just as sick with resentment. The a normally runs for the hills when I am sick. This time I just took care of myself and ignored him. He did a little for me, not much but some things but mostly he left me alone (his mother has a horror of illness and I guess he inherited that and some other traits). What is new for me is to give up martyring myself and resenting others when I am sick. I had absolutely no idea how that contributed to my illness. So this time I took off, stayed in bed till I got better. And I did get better. Some of my major major issues are health related. I still have much to do in that area to take care of myself. But this was one time I did take care of me and put the resentment aside. I try to keep doing that, don't add anymore to the resentment bank. I have enough to process. Yes I do have them about work, about lots of things. I manage them far far better than I did before but most of all I no longer martyr which was a real charactor trait of mine I can learn to disperse over time.
I never thought I would see that as an achievement.
Sorry to hear that your original account was deleted. If I remember right you had quite a few posts. Since I’m new here, I don’t really know you, but what I remember about you from your posts is your insightfulness, warmth, and thoughtfulness. Thank you for being here.
Totally relate hon. It's amazing how easy it's been for me,in the past,to fret about everyone else's health whilst all the time ignoring my own. It led to me being a lot sicker than I actually realised.Martyrdom sat well on my broad shoulders too.I lost count of the times when I was unwell and A would step over me to carry on with whatever he was doing,yet expected me to fetch and carry for him if had as much as a sniffle!! Boy,did I carry some resentments over that,and you are absolutely right...it makes US feel even worse.
Well done for recognising it and taking the right steps to take care of yourself.
Funny how much better we feel when we see it as an achievement isn't it?
My health is a really serious issue for me. One of my disabilities is ptsd but there are others. I have not taken care of myself. I blamed the A. I gave up blaming him and started taking care of me. So far it is baby steps. I have much to do. One huge step for me is extricating myself from being enmeshed with him. My family of origin was like super glue and still is. So enmeshment is the norm for me. Un-enmeshing is one day at a time, one action at a time for me.
