The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It has been a while since I posted. It just seemed like it hurt less if I didn't talk or think about it. I haven't been to a f2f lately because if I don't go, I don't have to talk or think about it. She needs to go to a residental treatment center, but refuses. I feel like I am waiting for her to go to jail or die. I don't think she has been sober for more than 1 week in the last 2 months. I know the constant detoxing without medical help is unhealthy for her. She drove drunk last night (again) and hit a car, but didn't stop. She said her car is drivable, almost. I have no idea what damage was done to the other car.
MFran, I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to not want to talk about it. I resisted coming to Alanon because I didn't want to think about my two A's. But to my surprise, they encouraged me to talk about me, to work a program, my program, and to focus on my own recovery. It's been so helpful It was also helpful to just listen to other people's sharing. It lessened my burdens somehow. Hang in there, and keep coming back.. D-Anne
I am new here in the last couple weeks. Alanon has been helping me in the short time I have been here. I have read some of your posts and my heart breaks for you. I hope your daughter will reach her bottom and find her way soon. Try to do something for you--take a walk, have a bubble bath, see a funny movie, anything to have a few moments peace from this. I will pray for you and her.
I have a 20 yr old daughter making a lot of bad decisions, I actually sent you a PM in this site so when you get a chance, take a look. It is very upsetting when your child has this disease, but know that you have done all you can and know that she has to help herself. God Bless you and your family, Mimi
I am also having a problem with a 27 year old daughter making very bad decisions. I am new at setting boundaries and she is still manipulating. We are going to counseling on Friday to help learn to set those boundaries. She called 3 weeks ago and asked for help. I got her to detox and an inpatient treatment center but she left after week 2. That was 4 days ago and now - she is gone again. I also just wait for the phone to ring and the caller at the end of the line saying Im sorry we think we have your daughter.
D Anne, Mimi and Karben, thanks for your kind responses. The manipulation and lies are another part of this disease that is difficult for me. I really want to believe my daughter, but I know better. When she went to detox in Feb and decided to stay for rehab, I really thought she had hit her bottom and that the light was at the end of the tunnel. It was not. She went back to detox two more times and is still not sober.
My heart goes out to you. I can understand the silence. If we don't talk about it, we don't give it real time and space. There have been times when I've taken a break from my program. Sometimes we all need to step away from it. But we can't step too far away, or we run the risk of not finding our way back.
I know how hard it is to watch someone you love give in to addiction. Having just asked my AH to leave 2 weeks ago, there's a part of me that wonders if he wants to die. I hope not. It can be heartbreaking. But I have to turn him over to his HP, and let my HP take care of me.
Alanon has taught me and given me the strength to do what I needed to do. I would glady donate an organ, jump in front of a bus to safe his life. But I will not die for his addiction. That's a hard choice when it's someone you love. But we have to dig deep, depend on the program and the love and support of our family here to go on.
Love and blessing to you and your family. Keep coming back to us.
Live strong,
Karilynn
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Please keep sharing with us it will help you get through the tough days, even if you just want to say my heart is breaking and I need to cry. At least we can send you hugs. As a mother I know we would swap our own life for our children at times and it is so hard to see them suffer. We are here for you. Luv Leo xx
