The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have just been thinking alot the past couple of days....kids are with friends, had alot of time to actually look at my life.......I am hoping that I saw the answers to some things that have been bothering me.
I know it's suppose to be one day at a time but, hub is going to another 30 program.....this will make 7.....omg can you beleive that!!!!!!
When he called the other day, he said, I'm going to need u when I get out...I said, nothing to that......I will not be here for himytoabuse my sanity ever again.....
I am telling him that he has to go to a sober living facility or get an apt. It's not that I do not love my hub, I do....I just don't have another round in me........I am going to tell him this...I am also going to tell him that in a year if he is still sober we will talk.
I have decided to make this my boundry and am going to do my absolute best to stick to this...he of course, can see the kids....I will see him also...it's not that we are totally cutting him our of our lives just yet. he has much to prove.
For me, I am going to take it odat, slowly find myself again......Make a place just for me....so that no matter what the good Lord has planned for me.....I will be ok, afterall I have to take care of me first and then everyone around me will be happy. Peace of mind for me is peace of mind for my kids.....
Thank you for listening........
Sorry got a little long......... Love to ya, Andrea
Sending strength and hope your way Andrea.... I hope you can do whatever it is that is right for you and your children...
When I read your post, the first thought that came to MY mind was a big red flag - in that if your hubby is already "planning on leaning on you" again when he gets out, he's still not "getting it", that he needs to get sober, for HIMSELF. Good treatment centers will help patients fully accept this, but sometimes the A's are soooooo not willing to get there. Most have rules of 'minimal contact' with the outside world, particularly for the first week or so, for this very reason....
Many times, the A goes into a treatment facility, and we, as the spouses at home, are still very much as enmeshed during that whole time, as we are when they are living at home.... Daily contact with an A, during treatment, is incredibly tough on us, and likely destructive to the good of the treatment center.... I wish for you, for today, that you can have some "Andrea" time for awhile, to help clear your head, and truly have some of the next 30 days to be able to truly focus on yourself and your children....
Take care
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Boundaries are what keeps us sane and with practice they get easier to maintain. Just like children (ha ha) remember to only establish boundaries you know you are going to keep.
You sound like you are in such a good place and I am happy for you.
yours in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
I hope and pray that this time hubby finds and keeps his long term sobriety.
You sound like you are on the right path. When the right decisions come, we are remarkably at peace with them. A certain amount of serenity follows. It sounds like that's where you are.
I am very proud of you for how far you have come. I know you will be able to stick to your boundry. Please remember that even if you slip a bit, like I do at times, it's okay. Just HP reminding us that we are human.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Well there is a big change in your being able to reflect what you want rather than what you ought to do. Last time your husband got into a program you were on overwhelm. Now you are not. That says a lot about the power of al-anon in your life. Of course none of this can be done without working the program and you have definitely. That is one of my reflections that now i have space around my decisions and space to reflect on them. I had none before.
& Pipers Kitty